Love Among the Ruins
by Sailor Celaeno
Summary: What happens when love and attraction leads you astray? It's opera! Story features Relena, Heero, Hilde, and Duo. How will this all end? This is a WIP (work in progress) and is estimated to be 26 chapters.
1. Act 01

Disclaimer: I never have and I never will own Gundam Wing. I'm not that fortunate. :P And of course, the "negative content" in this story isn't too much different from PG-13 movies.  
  
Pairings: 1xR? 2xH? 1xH? This will be a mystery to the end. ^_^ Surprises: There are some. That's all there is to it. ^_^ Genres: Sci-fi, drama, horror, some fluff, and other delightful things. Warnings: Since this is an operafic, my characters will be even more emotional than they would be as in the original series, so they might be OOC.  
  
AN: The brackets indicates opera libretto. At the end of each chapter I'll list the name of the aria the lyrics originated from, name of opera, and composer.  
  
Gundam Wing: Love Among the Ruins Act 1: The Lover's Moon By Sailor Celaeno  
  
[I would say: I've fought for you, I've won for you!]  
  
That night nearly a year ago was completely quiet which didn't seem that appropriate when Hilde thought about it. "It was the calmest night I've ever seen Duo. It doesn't feel right even now."  
Hilde was sitting at the office of Dr. Lee Carlyle, the therapist on staff at Preventer HQ. She was rather anxious. "So Hilde, what would you like to talk about today?"  
"I don't know doc. I honestly don't know." Hilde was lying back on the chair; the doctor had to make the patients comfortable.  
"Now Hilde. I know the date today. We have to talk about..."  
"Why?" She shouted suddenly. "Why do we have to talk about..." She covered her mouth as tears began running down her cheeks.  
Dr. Carlyle looked at her sympathetically. "I've had trouble getting appointments with you, Hilde. If Dr. Po and Colonel Une hadn't insisted that you see me, I don't think I'd ever talk you. They want you here. I want you here. You can't do this alone. You need to talk someone."  
Hilde was still crying. "I... I'm not ready."  
"You have to. It's not healthy to hold in your feelings, especially on the anniversary that..."  
Hilde wiped away her tears. "What do you want me to say? That I miss Duo? That I wish he was here and that I wouldn't have to see you."  
Carlyle reached a hand to his patient. "We have an hour. In fact two if necessary. I don't have a patient for another two hours, so you have all the time to talk."  
"Just what do you want me to say?" she said after she blew her nose on a kleenex.  
Carlyle leaned back in his chair and folded his hands in a polite manner on his lap. The middle-aged doctor simply said, "Tell me about Duo. How did he pass on?"  
Hilde stared at him with disbelief. "You know how he died. You knew Duo. He saw you after Felix, and Simon died..."  
Carlyle nodded at her comment, but maintained his calm appearance. "I know the facts and I know Duo from the man himself. But I want to hear from you Miss Schbeiker in your own words. I want to know why this has been so very difficult. Why you haven't started moving forward?"  
Hilde sighed as she leaned back. She had to bare the deepest part of her soul to this stranger. Well, he wasn't really a stranger. He was friends with Duo. He was also Duo's therapist after that raid that killed his comrades, Simon and Felix, almost 18 months ago. Duo was dead because of that mission. There was no question in anyone's mind. Hilde heaved another sigh. "I met Duo during the war..."  
After ten minutes of talking, she explained how she had met and fell in love Duo Maxwell. Now came the most difficult part: the last seven months of Duo's life.  
  
*****  
  
It was AC 201. It's not that Duo was old-fashioned about getting married, but he wasn't quite ready to jump into marriage. Otherwise they could have easily married three years ago. Duo just wanted to enjoy being single, even though he had a girlfriend that was practically his wife already. They were the perfect couple.  
Relena loved seeing how happy Duo and Hilde were together. She wished she could be the same way with Heero. Theirs was an unusual romance. Heero never seemed to be more than business-like around her. However, he was extremely protective towards Relena. She was getting mixed messages and she hated that.  
  
[I'll tell you what I'm going through; It's new to me and I don't understand it.]  
  
"I don't understand Heero Yuy!" Relena shouted in frustration.  
Hilde patted her friend reassuringly on the shoulder. "Come on, it can't be that bad."  
"It is Hilde. I love him like..." Relena became silent.  
Hilde smiled. "We're in the middle of nowhere." She reminded Relena that they were on a weekend retreat alone at the beach. Relena was stressed out, and Hilde wanted to use up her leftover vacation time before it expired. "We're at edge of the world. There's no one else around. Be free from your fears Relena. Just say what you feel!"  
  
[Mildly and gently, how he smiles]  
  
Relena looked over at her friend. "I... love him."  
Hilde smiled at Relena and nudged her. "Go on. Say it. Whatever is in your heart, let it fly free. Let the wind take it to where you want it to go." Hilde smiled and she looked up. There was a beautiful sunset slowly sinking below the horizon before the two young women. Above them, in the distance, the full moon appeared brighter. "Tell the moon about Heero."  
  
[I am like the moon goddess, the little goddess of the moon who comes down at night from the bridge of heaven.]  
  
Relena followed Hilde's gaze towards the moon. It was very beautiful high up in the heavens watching over the two women. "The moon?" Relena smiled as she said, "Juliet told Romeo not to swear by the moon."  
Hilde laughed, "Don't tell me your romantic life is so troubled that it's doomed like that."  
Relena smiled, but it slowly faded. "I don't even know anymore."  
Hilde looked at her friend with worry, "But Relena, if you really love someone, you should tell them. If you don't, you'll regret it in your heart."  
  
[Does that Moon goddess know the words that satisfy burning desire?]  
  
"He knows."  
"Hm?" Hilde asked with curiosity.  
"He knows," Relena sniffed a little. "I know he knows. He can see how I feel. I don't have to say a word. Everything I do says 'I love you' to him. I don't think I can't say it any other way."  
"Why can't you? It's not so hard to say it."  
  
[She does. Maybe she's unwilling to say them for fear of dying, for dying of it.]  
  
Relena began crying and wiped her tears on her sleeveless arm. "It's harder than you realize." Relena looked at her friend with tears streaming down her face. "You don't understand. Duo doesn't hide his feelings about you. You know just by the way he looks how he feels. But Heero... Heero is a man that's deeper than that. He hides how he truly feels. Even if he does feel the same, he won't say it. He hides his feelings because they are too deep. It would hurt him if he said it, if he allowed himself to feel any deeper. He's a soldier and he had no time to love or feel anything about anyone because there was no time to think about that in the middle of a war. He was ready to die... There's no reason for a dying man to bother loving anyone, is there?" She was crying too hard. Hilde silently waited for Relena to calm down. The crying Minister finished her thought. "I won't say something he knows I feel. If I say it, then he has to say something back. I would just... I'd rather he not tell me at all."  
"Not tell you at all? You'd rather go on without him saying anything than..." Hilde sadly looked at Relena. "You'd rather die than have him say that he didn't love you." Hilde understood. It was less painful knowing that someone didn't love you, than to hear it. Those words would echo in Relena's mind for the rest of her life if he ever said them.  
Relena continued sniffing, but she had a slight laughter. "I know... it's silly, really. It's even stupid and pretty unlike me to be crying over Heero." She laughed a little more even though her eyes had some tears left to cry. "But... there's something missing for me. I want someone to be there. When no one else knows who I really am, I only want to find someone who does."  
"Does Heero?" Hilde asked.  
Relena turned up towards the stars.  
  
[In the sky, all along the shore. Out to shore... the sky is smiling. Oh lovely night!]  
  
Relena replied, "I think he does. He doesn't say it, but I know he does care. In his way he cares. Which makes it hard for me to hear it. If he says he loves me, then I will be happier than I've ever dreamt of being. And if he says no... If no, then I have nothing to hope for. I'll be all alone because the one I love said he didn't feel the same." She stared at the ocean as it crawled up the beach under the moonlit sky. She seemed calmer then. "Maybe I'm being stupid Hilde. I should just say how I feel and be strong. But then... I don't know how I can be strong like him..."  
Hilde walked closer to her friend. "That was the absolute... saddest, most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Oh Relena..." Hilde hugged her friend with the warmth of compassion.  
  
*****  
  
Doctor Carlyle nodded. "That was a lovely moment. But..."  
"I know... you're wondering whether that has anything to with me or Duo." Hilde sighed deeply. She had been staring at the floor. She then looked up with a pained look on her face. "That, I assure you, is where the trouble began."  
"Indeed. The real root of the problem? And that is your diagnosis?"  
Hilde only replied. "Yes. Relena is in a coma because of me. I was the one that did it to her. And..." Hilde began crying. "I killed Duo. Duo is dead, and Relena..."  
Carlyle checked the clock. "We still have 40 minutes. Or an hour and 40 minutes. I think a longer session, at least for today, might be better for you."  
Hilde nodded. "Yeah... I guess it might."  
  
To be continued...  
  
Opera notes: Thank you for reading my first (and perhaps the first EVER) opera fic. As you can tell, it works the same way as a regular songfic, except the lyrics are from opera arias. Also the libretto are clearly translations since most of the opera arias are in Italian or German. There will be a couple in French, and there's even a Czech opera later on in the story.  
  
Originally this wasn't going to be an opera fic. It was just going to be an angsty love polygon story. But listening to "The Greatest Opera Album Ever" with my sprite-muses has given me the idea that maybe using opera libretto would reflect the emotions of the characters and their situations better. So here it is! ^_^ And now for libretto credits.  
  
1) "Celeste Aida," from "Aida" by Giuseppe Verdi.  
  
2) "Voi Che Sapate", from The Marriage of Figaro by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart  
  
3) "Mild und Leise," from Tristan und Isolde by Wilhelm Richard Wagner  
  
4) "Bimbi Dagli Occhi," from Madama Butterfly by Giaccomo Puccini 


	2. Act 02

Disclaimer: I never have and I never will own Gundam Wing. I'm not that fortunate. :P And of course, the "negative content" in this story isn't too much different from PG-13 movies.  
  
Pairings: 1xR? 2xH? 1xH? This will be a mystery to the end. ^_^ Surprises: There are some. That's all there is to it. ^_^ Genres: Drama, angst, some fluff, and other delightful things. Warnings: Since this is an operafic, my characters will be even more emotional than they would be as in the original series, so they might be OOC. AN: A shout out to my beta Daniel, and everyone else who reviewed my fics. Thanks for the love. ^_^  
  
The brackets indicate opera libretto. At the end of each chapter I'll list the name of the aria the lyrics originated, name of opera, and composer.  
  
Gundam Wing: Love Among the Ruins Act 2: Another Day Dawning By Sailor Celaeno  
  
Relena sat quietly at her chair. Heero was in the corner watching her and everyone else in the room. He was still so close. She wanted to feel his hand in hers. What was it that made her think these things. Her heart pounded in chest.  
  
[And I liked you from the first moment I set my eyes on you.]  
  
The conference hall became too stifling. "What makes my heart feel like this?" she thought. Relena felt a breeze through her hair, making it fly.  
  
[I am like the moon goddess, the little goddess of the moon]  
  
"Relena."  
Relena turned to the sound of her name. Those deep, silent eyes stared at her. She loved those eyes. They made her flutter like butterfly wings. "Yes Heero?" she asid with a calm, soft voice.  
  
[You are tall and strong.]  
  
Heero approached her. There was a scent of aftershave. He was so very close. He leaned close to her. She could almost feel the warmth as he spoke. "Are you cold?"  
"Huh?" she asked as though she was emerging from a deep sleep.  
Heero wrapped his arms around her shoulders. He rubbed his hands up and down her arms, briskly, but carefully. "You're shivering. I was concerned."  
"Was that all?" she wanted to ask him. "I'm... uh..." She held onto his shoulder.  
"Relena..."  
  
*****  
  
Relena remembered feeling warmth on her forehead. She opened her eyes. She saw Heero wiping his hands from putting the compress on her forehead. Duo was also nearby along with Hilde. "Hey Princess," Duo gave her a friendly wink.  
Relena quietly laughed. It was sweet of him to come for a visit. "Hi Duo..." she said with a quiet voice.  
Duo sat down on the side of her bed. He patted her hand. "Don't you worry your pretty head about anything. The world will still spin and everything, while you go get better," he offered her a reassuring smile.  
Hilde noticed a slight grimace from Heero at Duo's comment. She smiled inwardly. She knew Duo's feelings, and Relena's as well. However Heero was another matter, and she was more convinced that he was more in love than he'd admit.  
  
Relena smiled back. "Thank you."  
"No problem." Duo and Hilde said their goodbyes a few minutes later. Heero stayed behind. He occassionally looked at Relena as she talked mirthfully with Duo. Her face got rosier.  
  
[What a frozen little hand, let me warm it for you.]  
  
She seemed so happy lying in her bed. Relena looked at Heero. "It was nice of Duo and Hilde to visit."  
"They insisted on seeing you."  
"It was sweet of them." Relena looked at her heart's desire. "Is something the matter?"  
  
[It's a moonlit night, and the moon is near us.]  
  
"The moon is out," he replied.  
Relena frowned slightly. He wanted to change subjects, but she couldn't help herself. "Open the window."  
Heero nodded. He pulled open the curtains and opened the window. The moon was bright in the sky, almost beckoning lovers to gaze deeply at its luminous calm.  
  
[O moon high up in the deep, deep sky]  
  
"It's beautiful tonight. I wish I could go outside," sighed Relena.  
"You can't. You're still sick."  
Relena looked at him. "Then..." She sat up in her bed. "Then why did you open the window?"  
Heero walked to the bed. He sat down and leaned closed to her. "You like looking at the moon. I thought that would make you happy."  
Relena just looked into his eyes. "They are such a beautiful blue," she thought to herself.  
Heero looked at her. "Relena..." was she heard him say as he pressed his lips against hers. She remembered wrapping her arms behind his neck. Her fingers ran through his tousled hair. His arms were wrapped around her, clinging onto her as though he was afraid she was a bird that would fly away. The last concious thought Relena had was Heero pushing them both onto the bed. Still kissing her... still holding her. Soon wandered off, enjoying other sensations.  
  
[Come along, come. Cast all your fears out of you heart!]  
  
*****  
  
Relena was still. Never moving, always silent like she had been for over a month. She was asleep. Heero stared at her through the glass window. He could remember laughing, smiling, giving him looks of life and hope.  
  
[One happy day, you appeared to me.]  
  
She deserved better. Hell, even Duo deserved better. He probably died  
  
hating them both. "I wouldn't blame you. I wouldn't fucking blame you." He watched Relena sleeping peacefully. She was an angel, almost impossible to be real. But he knew better than that. She was flesh and blood. She was so soft in his arms. She was halfway in Life and halfway to Death.  
  
[And from this day, trembling, I have lived in that unspoken love,]  
  
Love... "Do I love Relena?" He touched the window. He felt the cold plastic window and his fingers slid as he stared at her. Relena... Relena... "If I could hear you... even for you to say you hate me, I want to hear you."  
But... he loved Hilde. Hilde was free, and she had a giving spirit. He admired her courage and her spirit. That was something to love.  
  
[in that love that animates the world]  
  
But those final words. Relena's final words. In his hands were the cold, emotionless words. She has a heart, but her heart grew cold to him. "... you don't know what you really want..." she said. Such cold words, from such a tender spirit. "... I'm making the decision for you."  
  
[mysterious, proud, pain and delight to the heart]  
  
Cruel... cruel... silence. Heero walked away from her window. "She doesn't want me."  
  
*****  
  
Hilde had settled down and drank the water from his water cooler. She took a deep breath. "I guess I really needed to take that off my chest. It buried my heart for so long."  
Dr. Carlyle nodded. "Now, Hilde. Tell me what happened afterwards. After you were talking to Minister Dorlian."  
Hilde took another deep breath. She could almost hear Duo's voice softly speaking to her. A calming touch his fingers on her face. She could almost feel the long, soft hair flowing freely from his braid.  
  
*****  
  
Sunday mornings were without a doubt the best time of the whole week. Hilde felt the sunlight creep into the bedroom. How warm it felt with the light approach with gentle fingers of yellow sunlight. The blankets were so wonderful against her skin. She reached to touch Duo's unbound hair. Hilde loved touching his hair. It felt like silk in her hands. Such a wonderful river of brown through her fingers.  
  
[On the sacred river which flows, calmly and serenely]  
  
Hilde didn't want to leave that bed.  
Duo soon stirred at the loving touch. He yawned and looked up. "Morning sunshine."  
"Morning to you too," she said with a smile dancing on her face.  
  
[This is the time when your face smiles]  
  
Duo looked at Hilde with a dreamy look on his face. "Something on your mind?"  
Hilde touched his bangs and the side of his face. "I was thinking about how much I love Sunday mornings."  
Duo took her hand and planted light kisses. "Really..." he wrapped his arms around her in an embrace.  
  
[Dome made of jasmine, entwined with the rose together]  
  
Hilde gasped softly as Duo grabbed her in lover's embrace. He said in between kisses, "And... why... is... that?"  
  
[Both in flower, a fresh morning, call us together.]  
  
"Because... I..." She was silenced as he captured her mouth with his own.  
Duo freed her, "Because what?"  
Hilde replied with half-hooded eyes, "Because I wake and you're here with me."  
  
[On the bank covered with flowers, laughing through the morning, Let us descend together.]  
  
Duo looked at her face with devilish eyes. "That's best damn answer." He disappeared under the sheets. Hilde soon laughed and moaned to the sensations Duo left her with.  
  
*****  
  
"So Hilde, where should we pick up in your narrative?" Dr. Carlyle asked. "You left off after you were on the beach with Minister Dorlian."  
  
[Where are the lovely memories of sweetness and pleasure?]  
  
Hilde nodded. Her mind was clearing again. She had grown obsessive of those memories. Memories of love that was beautiful, but their love grew dark. "Yeah. You're right." Hilde leaned back on the couch and sighed a little. "Well I guess I'll pick up at the ball in Paris. That was a few days later after the beach..."  
  
To be Continued...  
  
AN: Once again, I'd like to give credit to the operas and the composers whose libretto have inspired this chapter.  
  
1) "Bimbi Dagli Occhi" from "Madama Butterfly" by Giacomo Puccini  
  
2) "Che gelida manina" from "La Boheme" by Giacomo Puccini  
  
3) "Pisen Rusalky O Mesiku" from "Rusalka" by Antonin Dvorak  
  
4) "Un Di Felice" from "La Traviata" by Giuseppe Verdi.  
  
5) "Viens, Mallika" from "Lakme" by Leo Delibes  
  
6) "Dove sono i bei momenti" from "Nozze di Figaro"/"The Marriage of Figaro" by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart 


	3. Act 03

Disclaimer: I never have and I never will own Gundam Wing. I'm not that fortunate. :P And of course, the "negative content" in this story isn't too much different from PG-13 movies.  
  
Pairings: 1xR? 2xH? 1xH? This will be a mystery to the end. ^_^ Surprises: There are some. That's all there is to it. ^_^ Genres: Drama, angst, some fluff, and other delightful things. Warnings: Since this is an operafic, my characters will be even more emotional than they would be as in the original series, so they might be OOC. AN: A shout out to my beta Daniel, and everyone else who reviewed my fics. Thanks for the love. ^_^ The brackets indicate opera libretto.  
  
Gundam Wing: Love Among the Ruins Act 3: Always Free By Sailor Celaeno  
  
"Paris? Ah the city of Romance," noted Dr. Carlyle.  
"Romantic?" Hilde answered wryly. "Romantic for who?"  
"It seems you will have to explain for me. After all, I'm not involved with your story. I'm here to give you a little encouragement." Carlyle frowned at his patient. "We still have the time."  
Hilde had been facing the doctor while he spoke. She turned up to the ceiling as she though she was watching someone up there. "It's funny doc, the way time works. It always feels like you have the time to do everything you've ever dreamed of. But then, you wake up and something is missing." She glanced back at the attentive therapist.  
  
[One fine day, we will see a strand of smoke rising over the far horizon on the sea]  
  
Hilde stared the father-like doctor listening to her sad voice. "You wake up and everything is different. You can almost see... far away... you swear you can see the person you have held so tightly to."  
  
[And I wait for a long time but I don't grow weary of the long wait]  
  
Hilde had the brightest smile on her face. "I can picture him... walking to my cubicle at headquarters with flowers or something. He'd have the biggest grin on his face. Almost like I was the only one he smiled to like that..."  
  
[I with secure faith wait for him]  
  
The smile slowly faded. "Even now I still sometimes wait to hear his footsteps down the hallway... And when I'm at home, I'll pull his clothes out of the closet. I lay them out on the bed. I stare at and touch them. I even smell them. I want to find the scent of him... but the scent is disappearing. Time is making them disappear. Am I going crazy?" Hilde said as tears started welling up.  
Carlyle gave her a kind smile and another tissue. "Of course not. People that love never forget."  
Hilde wiped her eyes. "But... I did forget, doc. For those few moments in Paris... I forgot him."  
  
*****  
  
[Abandoned in this populated desert that they call Paris]  
  
Paris. Lovely Paris. So inviting and free. No wonder it was famous for affairs of the heart. There was love everywhere. Such a lovely feeling it was. "Just too bad Heero isn't getting enough of it," Hilde sighed. She couldn't help watching those two unfulfilled lovers. Relena had confided in her about her frustrations. It was about time that she did something about it.  
"Hey Heero," Hilde said cheerfully.  
"Hello Hilde. Something the matter?" he asked.  
"Just want to talk to you about security detail."  
Heero was puzzled, but the insistent look on Hilde's face got his attention. "Fine." He got up and followed her to the balcony of the large suite that Relena got for himself, Hilde and Duo at the hotel they stayed at.  
Hilde lead him to the railing. In the distance they could see the Seine weaving through its familiar course. Heero admired the view as a quiet breeze blew by. "What's the matter with you?" she broke the silence.  
"What?" Heero asked at the unusual question.  
"You heard me, Heero Yuy. I've never seen two people more in love and in denial than you and Relena. Explain yourself, Preventer Yuy," she said with an annoyed tone in her voice.  
"How is it that women know these things?" Heero thought. He was silent for a moment before he replied, "Where do you get things like this?"  
Hilde looked at him with a look of disbelief. "I don't believe this. How could you do this to poor Relena, knowing how she feels about you?"  
Heero watched the spirited girl vent her irritation. He started to see what Duo saw. A woman who knew what she wanted. "Why are you..."  
Hilde glared at the handsome but ignorant man beside her. "I'm Relena's friend. I hate seeing her so miserable. You tease her with your care and concern. But then you pull back. How could you do this her?"  
  
[Folly! Folly! What sort of crazy dream is this?!]  
  
Heero looked into those persistent eyes. "I don't know how to tell her. Whatever I try to... I can't say them."  
Hilde frowned. "What is it with you two?" she grumbled to herself silently. "Why can't you just say what's in your heart? That's all any woman wants from the one she loves. 'I Love you.' Just three words and you'll never worry about telling her how you feel ever again."  
Heero was silent again. He just leaned on the railing. The new breeze was blowing at his back. He stared at the flowing river in the distance.  
Hilde put a hand on his shoulder. "Just think about what I said huh?" She looked hopefully at the silent man. "Look... Relena has that conference tomorrow. We should get some sleep. Good night, Heero."  
  
*****  
  
[My secret lies hidden within me]  
  
"Well, then the next day Relena got sick, and... well, Heero told her how he felt. At least that's what Relena told me." Hilde had a small smile. "You should have seen her face glowing like a bride on her wedding day. I could only imagine what he said to her. But it's really strange, doc. Just a few days later... all that joy disappeared..."  
  
*****  
  
[When will I love you?]  
  
Relena had recovered in time for the ambassador's ball. To end the week-long conference with a lighter note, an ambassador's ball was held in the famous city of Lights and romance. Which meant Heero had to accompany her. No way was anyone else going to waltz with her, especially with her fragile health. She had been in Paris talking to diplomats and representatives from the developing Mars colony. More and more trouble was brewing every day. Heero, while he was watching for Relena's safety, had been listening to the discussions. There were rumors of syndicates moving to Mars and organizing control over legitimate businesses. It seemed strange, that even in A.C. 201, Earth still had an organized crime problem. This sort of thing was completely out of Preventers' jurisdiction. Unless organized crime was threatening the stability of ESUN, Preventers was forced to leave it in the hands of the Martian Orbital Patrol Service, or MOPS as it was commonly known. MOPS' jurisdiction was any and all crime on Mars. The senior members of MOPS' hierarchy were Preventers that were transferred to Mars, including Preventers Wind and Fire.  
Relena was confident that MOPS could handle the problem knowing her brother and Noin were among the agents in charge. Heero felt the same way, but he had the suspicion that there was something awry.  
"I'm very concerned about Relena."  
Hilde had listened to her friend. Her dear friend. "Why am I not surprised," she said with a knowing smile.  
"I'm being serious, Hilde. Relena has a lot on her shoulders. I had to put her to bed. She was up until 3 last night drafting resolutions to deal with Mars. She's not well, you know."  
  
[He who, so modest and attentive during my illness,]  
  
"What did the doctors say?" Hilde asked with concern.  
Heero could see such worry and fear in her soft eyes. They looked at him with fervently hoping that all was not as dire as it appeared. Heero frowned. "If only I could be so certain," he thought silently. "They say that she really needs to go on vacation and relax. The stress is weakening her immune response. I was tempted to tie her down to get her to rest. But she insisted that the Mars situation needed her attention." Heero sighed. He stared at Hilde, whose eyes were still on him, listening to every word he said. Her eyes were still filled with concern. "I swear she's going to kill herself with all this work."  
Hilde reached over and put her hand on his. "I know Heero. I'm scared for her. She's going to hurt herself, staying up at odd hours like she's been doing. And she's already ill..."  
Heero put hand on her shoulder. "I know. I'm going to do what I can to make her see reason. But you have to do what you can too."  
Hilde nodded. "I'll do what I can." Hilde had a slight smile on her face. "After all, she and I have something in common."  
"What's that?" Heero asked.  
Hilde patted his hand. "We're both in love with a Gundam pilot." Hilde stood up and wished Heero "a good day." She left him to his thoughts.  
  
*****  
  
Heero waited by the grand staircase at the lobby. Actually, he wasn't alone. Duo was anxiously waiting as well. "I'd never picture I'd go to a fancy ambassadors' ball. But... princess was nice enough to get Hilde and me invites." Duo flashed a jovial smile at Heero. "But who could turn down an invite from a beautiful woman?"  
Heero wasn't sure he liked that last statement. Duo already had a perfectly beautiful woman of his own: Hilde. How could anyone not like Hilde? She's brave, dedicated to peace, a good friend, warm, sociable... has very kind eyes... Heero frowned. Kind eyes? Why would he be thinking about Hilde's eyes? The only eyes he was thinking about was Relena's. She has such gentle, loving eyes that loved him dearly. He knew that.  
"Speaking of beautiful women..." Duo trailed as he walked onto the bottom step. Hilde appeared at the top with a beautiful ice-blue ball gown. Her hair had small flower hair pins, and she wore a matching crystal necklace that Relena let her borrow. She had a hint of body glitter on her neck. She had a light dusting of eye shadow, eyeliner and a coating of dark colored gloss. "I think I found my Cinderella," Duo said as he stole a quick kiss.  
Hilde laughed, "Be careful there, Prince Charming... to avoid smudging Cinderella's makeup."  
Heero couldn't help watching Hilde and Duo together. They seemed so happy. Hilde's laughter was warm and inviting. Her eyes sparkled with merriment. Just like Relena's did the other night. Relena?  
By the time Heero looked at the staircase again, Relena was already halfway down the stairs. Heero felt guilty. He didn't see her at the top, and she was alone. He had wanted to hold her arm as support, but instead Relena got a cold metallic handrail. She wore a pale white dress that was glistening in the light. Her hair looked particularly golden blonde that evening, like the moon was the source of her beauty. She was serene and almost quiet as she made her way down. She only had eyeliner and mascara with a coating of pale pink gloss. Her pale blue eyes were all the color she really needed on her face. Even though she hadn't gotten much sleep in days, one could hardly tell. While her face wasn't as vivacious as Hilde's, she had such a hopeful, happy glow. Radiant was the word for her.  
  
[I am like the moon goddess, the little goddess of the moon]  
  
"Relena..." Heero reached for her hand.  
Relena accepted his hand and she tugged on her matching shawl.  
Heero helped her and he lightly brushed his fingertips against her partially exposed back. Relena gasped and shivered slightly. Heero held her by the arms. "Something wrong?"  
"No. I'm fine. I'm fine..." she gave him a kind smile.  
Heero took one arm in his. "All right then," he said as he led her to the hotel entrance. Duo and Hilde followed suit. They both couldn't help but smile at the romantic exchange between their friends.  
  
*****  
  
[Let us drink from the goblets of joy, adorned with beauty]  
  
Entering that ballroom was like stepping back into time. It was as though time couldn't take away the magnificence of an age where love, and not war, was on the minds of the partygoers. There was champagne and wine corks popping every few minutes. There was the clinking of glasses, toasting many wishes of love, and good fortune. The dance floor was filled with beautiful fabrics and their beautiful owners dancing the night away. The sounds of swirling skirts and light tappings of shoes on the floor could barely be heard over the din of people clustered about the room, chattering away about their business and other things. The dancers turned and swayed to the small orchestra, letting the music and the movement of their own feet carry them away from their own worries.  
Hilde was amazed and enchanted by the sights in that room. This was the stuff of old novels. She almost wished she was like Relena. She wished she could be invited to balls, dancing the night away with a handsome man at her side. Hilde frowned. She was sitting at the table. Duo and Heero were getting food and drinks for the four of them. Relena's attention was diverted by the appearance of an old Peacecraft family associate. Hilde was seriously bored. Not only couldn't she go have a dance, but her friend was practically dragged away from her. She watched all those happy couples glide across the floor. They were laughing at their own private jokes. They had eyes filled with love and admiration for their partners. Hilde stared forlornly wishing that Duo would hurry back so she could have that dance she had been itching for all day.  
"I'm sorry Hilde. Viscount Desmond hadn't seen anyone from the Peacecraft family in years..." began Relena.  
"No sweat. I know how it can be when you find old friends," Hilde gave her friend a reassuring smile.  
"Thanks Hilde," Relena said, but there was something sad in her voice.  
"Something wrong Relena?" Hilde moved to a closer seat and gently reached for her friend's hand.  
Relena sighed before looking at Hilde. "There's something different about Heero."  
  
[And perhaps you will never return]  
  
"Different? But... I thought he was being more attentive around you."  
Relena shook her head. "Not that sort of different. I mean... I can tell something is on his mind. He loves me... yet I feel like there is something else... or maybe someone else."  
"Someone else?" Hilde felt her heart racing. Is it actually possible that Heero could really be in love with... someone else? It became unbearable to picture that Heero would love someone else. Relena didn't need that sort of stress on her mind. And yet...  
"I just feel like he has his heart in two places. I can see it in his face. He cares..."  
"Sorry ladies but there was a long line for the champagne." Duo smiled as he laid a large plate down. "It seems they couldn't open the champagne bottles fast enough."  
Heero got another plate that had the glasses of champagne. "It did take a long time," he said with no exaggeration.  
The table setup was perfectly romantic. The tables had a beautiful centerpiece of freshly cut roses. There were plates and elegant silverware displayed for use. There were various glasses on the table for each guest. Some had water, some had wine, red and white, and the four filled champagne glasses. Duo ate a few hors d'oevres. He savored the cheese and crackers he took. Everyone ate from the large plate and were amazed to realize that they were satisfied with only that to eat.  
"Duo... you promised to dance," Hilde said to her lover in a teasing manner.  
Duo grinned. "Sure thing beautiful." He took her hand and led her to dance floor. The music stopped as they walked towards an empty space. The musicians took a short pause as they changed sheet music. Not long afterwards, a waltz was playing. Soon Duo and Hilde were twirling to the music as though they were the only two people in the room. Heero kept watching them together. He couldn't help watching the happy couple together. He wished he could be happy with someone in his... "Relena?"  
"Heero?" Relena looked at him with confusion and tenderness. She could feel her heart thumping as she watched Heero, waiting to hear what he wanted to say.  
  
*****  
  
Hilde sighed as she talked about the ball. "Even now I can hear the music and Duo holding me in his arms..." She grabbed a tissue and cried again.  
Dr. Carlyle listened patiently, allowing Hilde to talk at her own time. He casually noticed the clock. Another 75 minutes before the next patient. He wanted to give her as much time as she really needed. "How do you feel?"  
Hilde just wiped her eyes. "I... just find it so hard to talk about the ball. Even now... Oh Duo... Relena... What have I done?"  
  
To be continued...  
  
AN: And here are the credits. My thanks to these great maestros. ^_^  
  
1) "Un Bel Di Vedremo" from "Madama Butterfly" by Giacomo Puccini  
  
2) "Follie!" from "La Traviata" by Giuseppe Verdi  
  
3) "Nessun Dorma" from "Turandot" by Giacomo Puccini  
  
4) "Habanera" from "Carmen" by Georges Bizet  
  
5) "Ah, fors'e lui" from "La Traviata" by Giuseppe Verdi  
  
6) "Bimbi Dagli Occhi" from "Madama Butterfly" by Giacomo Puccini  
  
7) "Libiam, libiamo ne'lieti calici"/"Brindisi" from "La Traviata" by Giuseppe Verdi  
  
8) "Ebben? Ne andro lontana" from "La Wally" by Alfredo Catalani 


	4. Act 04

Disclaimer: I never have and I never will own Gundam Wing. I'm not that fortunate. :P And of course, the "negative content" in this story isn't too much different from PG-13 movies.  
  
Pairings: 1xR? 2xH? 1xH? This will be a mystery to the end. ^_^ Surprises: There are some. That's all there is to it. ^_^ Genres: Drama, angst, some fluff, and other delightful things.  
  
Warnings: Since this is an operafic, my characters will be even more emotional than they would be as in the original series, so they might be OOC. AN: A shout out to my beta Daniel, and everyone else who reviewed my fics. Thanks for the love. ^_^ The brackets indicate opera libretto.  
  
Gundam Wing: Love Among the Ruins Act 4: Sad Eyes Shining By Sailor Celaeno  
  
Carlyle had become rather anxious as he heard Hilde crying and lamenting her guilt. But what could Hilde have done? "Hilde... I just..."  
Hilde wiped her eyes again. They had grown puffy from the rawness of her grief. "I... just find everything so hard to take it. Knowing what I know now... I wish I could change everything..."  
"But Hilde... I don't understand... exactly what you've supposedly done..."  
Hilde sighed. "I suppose I'm being a total fool to you. You don't know why I'm so unhappy. I guess... it's only fair to you if I explained further..."  
  
*****  
  
Hilde was in Duo's arms, gliding across the ballroom floor, among the masses of guests. They were so happy together. Hilde glanced in the direction of their table. She spotted a curious sight. Heero seemed to be talking to Relena. The more curious thing was the expression on his face. There was so intense seriousness on his face. Relena was listening to whatever he was saying. Relena had a very graceful, attentive expression on her face. She sat there so ladylike and genteel. "What on earth could they be talking about?" she found herself wondering as she and Duo continued their dance. However they were soon far away from the table and her curiosity grew. "What did Heero say to her?" Something was tugging at her. It was a feeling that was like jealousy. "For pity's sake! Why would I be jealous of them? I'm with a man that loves me. And I..." She felt herself hesitate. "Hesitate? Why am I hesitating? I... I... love Duo! I love him with all my heart."  
  
[He's the one whom my lonely heart delighted often to paint with vague, mysterious colors.]  
  
"I love Duo... I love Duo... I love Duo..." The couple neared the table again. Relena smiled with such loving eyes and Heero covered her hand with his own. "I..." Hilde stared at them, even as she and Duo were whisked away by the joyful music. "If I love Duo... then why do I repeat it like I'm reminding myself?" Something within her was burning. She felt empty as she pictured the happy smile on Relena's face. It made no sense. "Why do I feel this way?"  
  
[Folly! Folly! What sort of crazy dream is this!]  
  
They danced toward the table again, but this time... Relena was gone... and so was... "Heero?" Hilde's heart started to flutter. Hilde couldn't stop her thoughts from racing. Why was she feeling this way? In the corner of her eye she found them. They were dancing together. Relena looked so happy there in his arms. It was everything that she wanted. Relena told Hilde that. So why did Hilde feel so strange? "Oh... I see..." Hilde began to hate herself deeply at that moment. What in God's name was she thinking?  
  
*****  
  
"You became attracted to Heero," Carlyle said as though he found the solution to a difficult puzzle.  
"I realize now... that I didn't want to believe that I could even think of someone else. How could I? He was Duo's friend. And the love of Relena's life? The thought that I'd ever think of him that way... I felt like I was betraying everyone."  
"What did you do then?"  
"I just thought I was just having a crush. I mean, Heero really is a great guy and anyone that could ever be in his heart is the luckiest woman to find a place with him. He seems cold and emotionless, but we know that really... he has the deepest, most feeling heart. His convictions... everything about him... is strong. That's what made me attracted to him. He's so mysterious, the way he shelters himself from others because he doesn't want to hurt himself. He'd never want to hurt someone he cares for. That's why... I destroyed Duo and Relena's lives."  
Carlyle frowned. "You mean..." Carlyle nodded as everything began to make sense. "It makes sense now. I think I understand."  
Hilde sighed. "You know... it really was that night that we all went to a place that we can no longer go back to..."  
Carlyle only said, "Well, then please continue..."  
  
*****  
  
Duo soon spotted Heero and Relena together. He had a knowing smile on his face. Finally... those two were together. However, he couldn't resist this one indulgence. He and Hilde approached the said couple. "Hey Yuy, mind if we switch dance partners in the next dance? I'd like one with princess."  
Heero glanced at Relena who seemed at ease with the request. "Sure."  
The dance stopped as the musicians changed the sheet music to the next dance. Heero changed places. Duo began chatting with Relena. Duo was very lively and Relena was ready to be entertained. Heero and Hilde, on the other hand, were both very quiet and hardly spoke as the violins began a slow minuet. Heero hardly had eye contact with his new partner. Hilde was more than glad of that. She felt herself growing more infatuated with Heero. If she looked into his eyes, it would doom them all. Yet at the same time she couldn't be completely cold towards Heero. It was against her nature to be so quiet. "Having a good time?"  
"Hm?" Heero started as though it was only then that he noticed who his dance partner was.  
"I asked if you were enjoying the ball," Hilde answered.  
"Not much." Heero was always a man of a few words.  
"Really? I thought you were enjoying your time with Relena," Hilde said almost with melancholy.  
Heero looked at her as though something hit him in the face. "I... well... I love being with Relena..."  
"Heero..." Hilde said tenderly.  
Heero unconsciously looked at Hilde. Their eyes met.  
  
[She appeared to me, full of love, my eyes caught sight of her;]  
  
"Want to go get fresh air?" asked Heero.  
Hilde replied almost automatically. "I was just thinking how stuffy it felt in here."  
The dance partners left the crowded dance floor.  
  
*****  
  
"So princess, having fun?" Duo asked.  
Relena seemed very distracted that moment. "I..."  
Duo frowned. "Are you feeling tired? I'm a total idiot... I should have checked to make sure you were feeling all right."  
Relena gave him a reassuring smile. "It's nothing."  
"You don't fool me. I know when a woman's got something on her mind. Just tell Duo and I'll help you."  
"Oh Duo..." Relena leaned her head on his shoulder. "I'm glad I have a friend like you. Hilde's lucky too."  
"I like to think I'm the lucky one, but I won't argue the praise of a princess," Duo said with a chuckle.  
Relena laughed. "I know, but I'm glad you're here."  
"I know you'd do the same for me."  
Relena looked earnestly at her dance partner. "You know... I'd do whatever I can to help you. I'd never forgive myself if I didn't."  
The partners finished their dance before they turned back to the table.  
  
*****  
  
[Love is a rebellious bird that nothing can tame]  
  
Hilde watched the stars and the moon in their places. "No wonder Relena likes looking at them. Relena..." Hilde's heart was beating faster, yet there was a dreadful cold feeling pulsing through her. What was she getting herself into?  
  
[If I love you, beware of me!]  
  
"Hilde?" a male voice called her attention.  
Hilde quickly turned to the speaker. Heero stood there watching her. He was dashing. Heero, in spite of his aloofness, was a very handsome man. Everyone dreamed of a mysteriously handsome guy. The mystery of the man makes him even more exciting. But Hilde knew something. She knew enough about Heero to see the goodness within him. Maybe that was something Relena saw. "Is there something you wanted to say to me?"  
"I... I wanted to thank you."  
"Thank me? For what?" Hilde blinked in confusion.  
"You've made me understand something better. I... didn't want to admit to myself that maybe I could give Relena what she really wants. I guess I was a fool for not admitting how much I've loved her. But that was my mistake, and I hope she can forgive me for being indecisive."  
Hilde was surprised at such speech. He'd never talked this much about his personal feelings. "I'm glad... I could help?" Hilde gasped as Heero suddenly had her in his grasp. "Heero?"  
  
[You think to hold it, it avoids you;]  
  
Heero stared deeply into her eyes. "Hilde..." he said in a low, almost dangerous voice. "Hilde... do you know why I always keep people arm's length of me?" He breathed softly in the cool night air. "It's because... I knew that I would be safer. I'd protect people from myself. If I ever felt too deeply, it would lead to my death. I became a soldier because it's easier to wait for death from the face of a gun, than to have my heart torn for the love of someone that I didn't deserve. It was easier not to love than having love taken away."  
  
[You think to avoid it, it holds you]  
  
Hilde was breathing harder. There was something so frightening about Heero at that moment. She kept staring at him. Was that why he threatened to kill Relena? Because he was afraid to love her? Her heart pounded harder. "Why... are you telling me this... and now?"  
He could hear the quiver in her voice. "Because... you are my pain and Relena is my death." Before they knew it, they were trapped in a kiss. A kiss of love, torment, freedom, misery, joy, endless sorrow, life, and death. It was the death of them all.  
  
[And in that kiss is death]  
  
A shadow watched them. A cold feeling creeps over and draws them away.  
  
[I am already dead like it!]  
  
*****  
  
"Princess?" Duo looked concerned as he saw Relena returning. She had gone to talk to some ministers she saw near the balcony. He stood up and immediately held on to her in case she fainted.  
"Duo..." she murmured. "I want... to leave..."  
Duo nodded. He saw a servant with an empty champagne tray. "Hey," Duo waved towards the man.  
"Oui monsieur?"  
"Please watch the lady. I will return in a moment."  
The server saw it was the Vice Foreign Minister and nodded compliance.  
"But Duo..." Relena whimpered. Alas... he couldn't hear her. It was too late.  
  
*****  
  
[While trembling I beheld]  
  
Duo had to find Heero and Hilde. They should leave before Relena got worse. But where could they be?  
"Excuse me, aren't you part of Minister Dorlian's party?" a man stopped Duo.  
"Yes... oh it's you sir," Duo remembered that Marquis Weyridge was one of the ministers she was talking to just earlier.  
"I do hope that Miss Relena is going to feel better. She was rather unwell, which is odd. She went outside for fresh air, and when she returned inside, she looked paler."  
"I'll be leaving with the minister in a few moments. I... wanted to find our companions.  
The marquis nodded, "She should rest. Send my regards to her."  
Duo nodded and walked towards the balcony. Could something have upset Relena? As he stepped towards the balcony, he realized what upset her.  
Hilde and Heero were locked in a tender embrace.  
  
*****  
  
"Heero... what are we doing?" Hilde asked  
"I just had to tell you the truth because you should know how I felt." Heero looked at her.  
"I love Duo..."  
"I love Relena, but we can't fool ourselves. We love them with all our hearts, but we feel..."  
"I know... I think I love you too..." Hilde began crying into his chest.  
  
[Gone forever is my dream of love]  
  
Duo was stuck... frozen in his spot. Did he hear right? Did Hilde say that she loved someone else? Was it rage he felt? What was the pain in his chest? There was a rumble in chest. Laughing? He stifled chuckles and tears in his eyes. "Why am I not storming over there?" Duo asked himself as he clenched on the door post.  
  
[Laugh of the pain that poisons your heart]  
  
His knuckles grew white as he clenched tighter. Watching those two was making his head throb. His knuckles were inhumanly white. They were as pale as the mocking moon that made lovers happy together. So radiant and white. White like... Relena... Duo released the grip. His knuckles ached and he remembered poor Relena. As ill as she was at that moment, she held herself together. Brave woman. She must have a heart that's cracking. She was always at her must vulnerable position when she thought of... Heero.  
Duo walked back to the table as silently and stealthy as he appeared. He left the two lovers alone. He had to pull himself together. Relena needed him to help her. Heero was preoccupied with other matters.  
  
[Put on the costume, and the face in white powder]  
  
Duo approached Relena. "I couldn't find them," he said with a shrug.  
Relena replied, "I know you tried." She had a knowing look on her face. She knew he was humoring her. He knew she didn't buy it.  
Duo quickly scribbled a note. "Give this to Heero Yuy 20 minutes after the Minister and I leave."  
The man took the note and nodded.  
"Come, my princess; your carriage awaits." He gallantly took her arm and they were in the limo and off to the hotel. Meanwhile, Duo made a few phone calls.  
  
*****  
  
"When will you tell Duo?" Heero asked. He pulled her face upwards so he would get a clear answer.  
"I really don't know. I will tell him soon though. And you?"  
"I'll tell her as soon as soon as Relena is better." Heero held Hilde's hand. "We should get back inside."  
Hilde frowned. "It's very odd."  
"We've been here for almost 30 minutes and Duo hasn't tried to find you," Heero said with some concern.  
They both walked towards the table and saw it was empty. "Could Duo and Relena still be dancing?" Hilde asked Heero.  
Heero began getting annoyed. "He knows she shouldn't be on her feet too much." They scanned the couples still dancing, but saw no pale, blond beauty in white, nor a dapper man with a braid.  
After another two minutes, a waiter tapped Heero on the shoulder. "Monsieur Yuy?"  
"Yes?"  
"I was instructed to give this to you." The man walked away and passed out more champagne to guests.  
Heero quickly opened the note.  
  
Dear Heero,  
Princess wasn't feeling too good. It seems she went out to the balcony for fresh air. Unfortunately, the air out in balcony didn't agree with her. I tried to find you and Hilde, but I couldn't find you two. You must have been off somewhere together. And don't worry about Relena because I know you trust me to take care of Relena as much I trust you to take care of Hilde.  
  
Heero turned to Hilde. "They know."  
  
*****  
  
"By the time we got back to hotel, Duo and Relena were gone. The limo took them to the airport where they got a private jet out of Paris. The hotel had already packed the luggage onto the plane. It took us hours to find out that they returned home," Hilde said sadly.  
Carlyle nodded. "So, the plot thickens." The small clock on his desk chimed. It was 3:00pm.  
  
AN: Roll the credits!  
  
1) "Ah, fors'e lui" from "La Traviata" by Giuseppe Verdi  
  
2) "Follie!" from "La Traviata" by Giuseppe Verdi  
  
3) "M'Appari" from "Martha" by Friedrich von Flotow  
  
4) "Habanera" from "Carmen" by Georges Bizet  
  
5) "La Mamma Morta" from "Andrea Chenier" by Umberto Giordano  
  
6) "E Lucevan le stelle" from "Tosca" by Giacomo Puccini  
  
7) "Vesti La Giubba" from "I Pagliacci" by Ruggero Leoncavallo 


	5. Act 05

Disclaimer: I never have and I never will own Gundam Wing. I'm not that fortunate. :P And of course, the "negative content" in this story isn't too much different from PG-13 movies.

Pairings: 1xR? 2xH? 1xH? This will be a mystery to the end.

Surprises: There are some. That's all there is to it.

Genres: Drama, angst, some fluff, and other delightful things.

Warnings: Since this is an operafic, my characters will be even more emotional than they would be as in the original series, so they might be OOC.

AN: A shout out to my beta Daniel, and everyone else who reviewed my fics. Thanks for the love. The brackets indicates opera libretto.

Gundam Wing: Love Among the Ruins

Act 5: Disappear

By Sailor Celaeno

Heero sat alone in the living room. He was planning on going back to the hospital in a couple of hours. He was a regular at the hospital, always watching Relena, like he was still her bodyguard. But bodyguard or not, he was lousy at the job. If he had been doing his job right, she'd be at work instead of in her hospital. Always asleep. He opened up Relena's diary. He knew it was wrong to have her diary, but he wanted to know what happened between them. Not that he didn't know he hurt her. However, he couldn't quite understand what possessed her to act the way she did. How did she end up in the coma? Was it his fault? He opened the leather-bound book to the entry after the ball. Reading over her familiar script made him feel like she was talking to him, telling him everything in her mind. A mind he couldn't reach to anymore.

_When I walk all alone in the street people stop and stare at me_

Duo and Relena were alone sitting in the limo. They stopped long enough to make sure the luggage was packed in the car. Relena had become less ill by this time. Duo was quiet and almost a different person as the driver headed towards the airport. "Duo?"

"Yes, Princess?" He still had enough good humor to call her 'Princess.'

"I know you saw them, didn't you," she said as a state of fact.

Duo sighed. "I have to say you're the most amazing woman in the world."

"What do you mean Duo?"

Duo shook his head. "You're sitting here without being upset. Heero's an ass for giving you up like that, you know?"

Relena stared out the window. The moon was out.

_O, moon, don't disappear, disappear_

"Am I really that amazing Duo?" Relena looked at her reflection in the window.

"Huh? What do you mean? You're a wonderful woman, and I don't know why Heero did that to you… to us," Duo growled more at Heero than at Relena.

"You want to know why I'm not angry, don't you…"

"You're pretty strong."

Relena laughed sadly. "He once told me I was strong. Maybe I am strong. But you see… just like the moon changes it's face… my strength comes and goes Duo. I can't ever show how much I'm pained in front of people. You understand why, don't you?"

Duo just watched her with interest. What she was telling him was something that was really something to listen to with the utmost attention. "Tell me why."

"I'm a politician, Duo. I can't show people how I truly feel. I can't be free to do as I wish. I always have people to answer to. People with expectations of me and you know what? I can't disappoint them for a second."

"That isn't fair. You shouldn't have your feelings ignored," Duo protested for her sake.

"I know it's not, but what can I do? I want to be angry… and jealous… and filled with hate. But I can't hate them! I don't have anymore energy to feel hate. I can't feel those things because there's nothing left of me to give. I used up that energy to do so much in my life. What little I had left I gave away all that spirit of love. I gave it all to Heero. If he loves someone else besides me, I can't stop him. I can't even hate him, not even if I really wanted to."

_Love is a rebellious bird that nothing can tame_

"I can't control what his heart feels anymore than I can control my own. Duo… you love Hilde very deeply that's why it hurts you so badly. You're angry, and you might even hate her, but you will never really stop loving her. I'm the same way about Heero. I could hate him all I want, but I have no hate in me left to give him. When I told him how I felt, I gave all my love, hate, joys, sorrows… what was left of my being. There's nothing left for me to give him. I dedicated so much for him and I have nothing left, but my life."

"I'll never understand that Relena. You really gave him everything, huh?" Duo shook his head. "You just loved him that much, you put all that heart into loving him, and now you have nothing left for yourself. You can't love him more or hate him. There's no room for that in your life. You can't afford giving more because you're bound to a life that keeps you so burdened that you don't have the time to hate even if you could. I'll never understand how you're not going insane."

_mildly and gently, how he smiles_

"I'll forget what he did. As long as he still watches over me, I'm not going to walk away from him. In spite of what he's done, I'm not going to just leave trouble because of my selfish desires. I don't have selfish desires left to give into. One day I'll move along with life and continue as before, but not now, Duo. Some day… I'll understand better."

Duo sighed. She was willing to spend the rest of her life living miserably with Heero always near her, probably moving on with Hilde. She's either brave or dumb. He'd rather think of her as brave than dumb. Just how long that could last was something he couldn't imagine. It was something for his journal that night. Ironically, his journal had been a gift from Hilde last Christmas…

"I see… so Duo talked about his conversation with the vice-minister in his journal. Anything else that he wrote?"

"Not much else. The next entry was about his night at Trowa's."

"Did you ever talk to Preventer Barton about Duo?"

Hilde hugged herself as she leaned back in her seat. "A little bit. At Duo's memorial service. But that's later in the story. I guess I really should pick up where I left off huh? I guess, I should pick up on our trip back home. We needed to talk to Relena and Duo. I mean… we just had to talk to them at some point. Heero didn't tell me much about what happened between him and Relena, but it didn't totally resolve things, although it seemed to go over reasonably well. We never knew why Relena was so at ease.. but she seemed to be."

_appease the suffering which distresses me and breaks my heart_

Heero entered her house. It was dark. He put his luggage near the door and began walking around. Only the sound of his shoes on the floor could be heard as it echoed through the silent place. He just had to find her and fast. He didn't know what she would do. Not that he was afraid of her. He could take her yelling and screaming at him. He feared what she'd do to herself. Would she get angry enough to retaliate? No. That was a foolish idea. But one can never tell with a woman's heart.

He checked her room upstairs, but there was no one there. The bed was empty, and still neat and unused. He peered around and saw that her belongings were there and unpacked. Her ball gown hung on her mobile dress rack still pure and white. She was absolutely radiant in the gown, but that was two nights ago, and when she could still love him.

He thought he heard a noise. He had his gun ready, and he went downstairs where he heard the sound. A song? He went downstairs and the sound grew louder, and he realized it was the sound of Relena's stereo. He followed the sound and it led him to her office. Relena sat in her leather chair watching the window where there was hardly light except for the desk lamp. The machine played a song, a woman singing with some lamentation in her voice. "Relena…"

"You know Heero…" she interrupted him. "I've been doing some thinking…"

"You could have told me where you were. I was worried about you…" he continued his train of thought.

"I assure you, Duo was just as good a bodyguard as you are. He ensured my safe return, and I'm here still alive as proof of that. You needn't concern yourself with details like my safety at a time like this."

Heero quickly walked over and stood in front of her. "It's not because of safety and you know it Relena!"

"My… my… Heero Yuy showing emotions. You are human after all, aren't you then?" Relena seemed thoroughly amused with her control over the conversation.

"Relena… don't make this more difficult."

"For who, you?" Relena watched him disinterestedly. She ignored the uncertain expression on his face. "Heero," she sighed. "We're adults now. There's no need to sugar coat anything just to make me understand. I understand things all too well. I'm really tired. Do you understand Heero? I'm sick and tired of all this."

"I didn't want this to happen…"

_Always free I must remain_

"But it did Heero, it did. We can't change the past; we can't make it all happy and nice like it once was. I'm ready to let go and make myself free. Can't you see that I'm being shackled to a life that's slowly closing in on me? I'll suffocate, Heero. I'm suffocating. The noose is tightening. I have no room left to deal with you or Hilde or anyone else."

Heero quickly grabbed her by the shoulders. She tried to wriggle free, but he held her tightly. "I don't want to end it like this. We shouldn't end it like this. It's not…"

"It's not what? It's not right? Of course it's not right. It's easy for you to say so you won't be guilty. You want to make it nice and easy, just so it'll make your conscience clean and you don't have to deal with it ever again. Guess what Heero? I don't care," she said with determination, but she couldn't quite look at him.

He gently touched her face. "You're a politician Relena. You've never said anything to anyone without saying it to their face. Say it again, Relena. Say it again."

Relena looked at him, and she started to cry. She softly whispered before it became more difficult. "Damn it Heero… Heero, I love you. I will always love you with every beat of my heart, and every ounce of my being…" She breathed deeply. "I love you now, and always… but… get out of my house."

That was all he needed to hear. "That's how it is?"

"Exactly right, Preventer Yuy… Nothing more than that. Get out." The determination on her face came back. Her expression was hardened, but her eyes said everything she didn't want to say.

"I'll leave, as you want it."

"Not as what I want. As it should be."

Heero silently left, leaving Relena alone to herself. Maybe she should have screamed and cried and cursed Heero and everyone else. The only problem was that there was nothing left in her to let out. There was no spirit in her to feel anything else. There was no time for that now. There was never enough time to do anything. No time to be human, only to be a politician. No room to have feelings, but the focus to ensure peace. Only energy to save the world from itself, not to save her from her life.

Maybe Duo could be angry for. "Duo will be angry for me. He has the energy, he's more free than me. Free to do as his heart desires."

AN: Drop curtain, roll credits. To be continued.

1) "Quando men Vo" from "La Boheme" by Giacomo Puccini

2) "Song to the Moon" from "Rusalka by Antonin Dvorak

3) "Habenera" from "Carmen" by Georges Bizet

4) "M'appari tutt' amor," from "Martha" by Friedrich von Flotow

5) "Sempre Libera" from "La Traviata" by Giuseppe Verdi


	6. Act 06

Disclaimer: I never have and I never will own Gundam Wing. I'm not that fortunate. :P And of course, the "negative content" in this story isn't too much different from PG-13 movies.

Pairings: 1xR? 2xH? 1xH? This will be a mystery to the end.

Surprises: There are some. That's all there is to it.

Genres: Drama, angst, some fluff, and other delightful things.

Warnings: Since this is an operafic, my characters will be even more emotional than they would be as in the original series, so they might be OOC. Also there's a pissed off Duo, so there's some cursing.

AN: A shout out to my beta Daniel, and everyone else who reviewed my fics. Thanks for the love. The brackets indicates opera libretto.

Gundam Wing: Love Among the Ruins

Act 6: Rebellious Bird

By Sailor Celaeno

Hilde noticed the time. "Another hour…" She stared at her hands and began speaking again. "You know, doctor, I sometimes wonder why life does the things it does. It brings joy and then it takes it all away." Hilde leaned into her seat. "I wanted to make things better. I had hopes that Duo would understand and maybe we could move past the moment that I made a foolish mistake. But I was wrong. I had killed Duo."

_And in that kiss is death_

Hilde walked into the apartment she shared with Duo. It was dark in the apartment, but she knew he was there. It had been two days after the ball and Hilde grew more and more concerned with the passing hours. What would he do? She turned on the lights ,and she saw he was just sitting there in the corner. The silence frightened her. The apathy on his face made her worried. Duo was not someone to hold back his feelings. "D… Duo?"

The silence truly made him the god of Death. He just sat there watching her as though he was deciding what to do next. As she watched him, she could see he didn't get much sleep.

"Duo! Just say something!" Hilde screamed as her whole body began shaking with emotion.

And then he stood up.

_While taken with delirium, I no longer know what it is that I say, or what it is I am doing_

"Like what?"

Hilde started crying. "Please… just…"

Duo had a patronizing gleam in his eyes. "Poor, helpless Hilde… all alone without Duo around." He held her in his arms. Just as suddenly he grabbed her hair and pulled her up to stare at the apathetic, violet eyes. "Who the fuck do you think you are?"

_Woman is fickle, like a feather in the wind_

"I suppose…" he gripped tightly on her hair. "I'm supposed to feel sorry that you have conflicting emotions, aren't I?"

Hilde groaned at the pain she felt. There was almost a sadistically pleased sparkle in his eyes. She groaned in the agony she was feeling. "Was this the pain in his heart?" she wondered silently.

"You don't have to say a word. I know you love me," he released the tortuous grip he had on Hilde. "But… you seem to love Heero." He didn't look at her. He stared out the window into the lonely night. "It's a selfish thing to make a woman choose which man she loves more." He whipped around and showed her a mocking expression on his face. "I think my poor Hilde is far too swept up with love to know what the fuck she really wants."

_She changes the tone of her voice, and her thoughts_

Hilde couldn't keep silent. "Just what's that supposed to mean?"

Duo laughed sarcastically. "At last, the lady speaks again." He continued his bitter, mocking tone. "You should see the look on your face… so serious and angry. You look like you have a reason to be mad," he continued laughing at her.

Hilde rolled her hands into fists. "Do you think it's easy to feel the things that I do?"

Duo shook his head. "What a typical thing for a person in your place to say. 'I can't help feeling what I'm feeling.' And… 'I love him, but I love you too.' That about sums it up, doesn't it?"

Hilde just watched him unsure of what to say.

"You know that just makes you sound so fickle." Duo casually played with his braid.

"Fickle? Fickle!" Hilde raced over to look into a tight hug. "I've always loved you. How can you treat me this way?"

_in tears or in laughter, is always lying_

Duo growled and roughly ripped away from her embrace. "I'm not some idiot that'll turn to putty just because you say you're sorry." The mocking jokester was no longer there. He was the fierce god of death, ready to crush her fickle heart. "Don't you think you can sweet talk me!" Duo began erupted into fierce, bitter laugh as though the entire conversation was another sad joke played on him. "The thing that just gets me is Relena."

"Relena…?" Hilde asked softly.

"Yeah, you know… the other girl in love with Heero. You should have seen the look on her face after she saw you two alone together. It was the saddest thing you could have ever seen on a girl's face. But you know what amazed me the most?"

"What's that?" Hilde stuttered as though afraid to hear his words.

"She forgives you. She forgives the both of you. In spite of your romantic back-stabbing, she forgives you." Duo glared at her.

"Relena…" Hilde quivered with emotion at the revelations Duo was telling her.

"Don't get your hopes up, Hilde. She'll forgive you, but don't think that she'll really put aside hard feelings. She's forgiving, but she's no fool. I almost wish she and I were together. Maybe we could have comforted each other, but I'm not so sure that it would make anything go away." He said out of spite. "I suppose I had this coming. I thought you and I were perfect because we love life and we look at life the same way. But I guess you got bored with all that. Heero is, I'll admit, the kind of guy that attracts women because he's so noble, and willing to do anything if it meant saving the world."

"But that's not…" Hilde began.

Duo had an angry look on his face. "Don't think that I really care why you love him! I don't need to hear anything. You think that explaining yourself changes anything? You're fooling yourself if you expect a hurt person to feel sorry for the one who hurt them…" He stormed past her into their bedroom and soon reappeared with one of his suitcases. "If you feel lonely, I'm sure Heero would be able to keep you company!" He slammed the front door in her face as she tried to reason with him.

Duo arrived at the apartment door. He knocked and as the door opened, a familiar man appeared. He wore a baggy pull-over shirt with striped boxers. "Come in, Duo."

"Thanks Trowa," Duo walked in. Duo had to admit, that Trowa had a nice place. "Nice bachelor pad."

Trowa had a slight smile. "No problem, Duo. I moved some stuff out of the guest bedroom. Cathy's the only one that uses it usually."

"I appreciate this."

There was another knock at the door. "You're not the only one with women troubles." Trowa answered the door and there was Quatre. He wore a baggy, hooded sweatshirt with the hood on his head.

Duo smiled. It was funny. If he wasn't angry at Heero, and Wufei was there, they'd have a really nice time right now. But that wasn't to be.

The three ex-Gundam pilots began telling their tales of romantic woes. Quatre was having a huge problem with Dorothy. He thought he was making her happy, but there she went off and set to marry someone that she didn't really care about. It was rather ironic that he and Dorothy tried to be a couple. Even Quatre didn't see that coming, but he always wondered what became of her, and when he did, he found himself caring more and more about what happened to her.

Trowa found a beautiful blond chick from his past. She was no longer the kind-hearted girl whose desperation made her do terrible things. She was spy, a woman living an unpredictable life, like a gypsy. There was little feeling left in her as she slowly lost her grip on humanity. It was ironic as well for him. Trowa finally reconnected with his humanity, and this spy was losing hers.

Duo told his tale of betrayal at the hand of their friend, which was rather pathetic as well. Dependable Heero stole his girl.

"I'd never think of Heero doing a thing like that. But I guess we all changed a lot since the war," Trowa commented over the beer he had served himself and Duo. Quatre chose not to have any.

"I feel sorry for Miss Relena. She has feelings for Heero and all that business on Mars. She's in dire trouble, and I really wish I could help her," sighed Quatre.

"I tried to do what I could to help Princess, but there's just so much I can do you know? I'm just a Preventer. I'm here to save the world from it's enemies, not from itself," Duo said as he took another swig of his drink.

_All I can see is two beautiful dark eyes…_

Duo sighed as the beer flowed down his throat. He couldn't understand it. That one day Hilde found someone else. Would she say the same things to Heero as she did to him? The very idea made him shudder in his heart.

_Gone is my dream of love_

The dark thoughts rousing and praying on his mind just made him want beer more and more as the clock on the wall softly ticked. Just what was it about getting drunk that makes you notice all those stupid things so much? "This has got to stop!" he smacked his hand on the table and he stood up.

"Duo?" Quatre looked over at his friend. Trowa also had a concerned look on his face.

"Gents?" he raised his can up in the air.

Quatre and Trowa shared a look and did as Duo asked.

"To… a life free from women that hurt us!"

_Your toast, I can give it to you!_

"Here! Here!" They all toasted and took a gulp of their respective drinks.

"So this was in Duo's log?" asked Dr. Carlyle.

Hilde nodded. "He wrote about it because he was going to spend the rest of his life forgetting me. I don't blame him. I wounded him and he should hate me. I wish I could have said how much I'd still love him."

"Hilde… don't keep hurting yourself like this. You can't keep hating yourself like this. It's not healthy," Carlyle responded with concern.

"Things just went worse. I can't sum it up any better. I drove Duo into death's path. I killed him twice, Doc. I killed him twice."

Carlyle was silent. "So was that why Duo was so eager for the mission that killed him?" he thought silently.

AN:

1) "La Mamma Morta" from "Andrea Chenier" by Umberto Giordano

2) "Vesti La Giubba" from "I Pagliacci" by Ruggero Leoncavallo

3) "La Donna e Mobile" from "Rigoletto" by Giuseppe Verdi

4) "O Mimi tu piu non Torni" from "La Boheme by Giacomo Puccini

5) "E Lucevan le stelle" from "Tosca" by Giacomo Puccini

6) "Votre toast, je peux vous le render" from "Carmen" by Georges Bizet


	7. Act 07

Disclaimer: I never have and I never will own Gundam Wing. I'm not that fortunate. :P And of course, the "negative content" in this story isn't too much different from PG-13 movies.  
  
Pairings: 1xR? 2xH? 1xH? This will be a mystery to the end. ^_^ Surprises: There are some. That's all there is to it. ^_^ Genres: Drama, angst, some fluff, and other delightful things. Warnings: Since this is an operafic, my characters will be even more emotional than they would be as in the original series, so they might be OOC. AN: A shout out to my beta Daniel, and everyone else who reviewed my fics. Thanks for the love. ^_^ The brackets indicate opera libretto.  
  
Gundam Wing: Love Among the Ruins Act 7: On Guard By Sailor Celaeno  
  
Hilde leaned back in her seat. "You know what bothers me still? Its that I never really understood myself as I thought I did. Even now I can't understand how I could love someone else."  
"Hilde," Carlyle said with a tone of reassurance. "You are certainly not the first one in that situation nor are you the last. Hilde, don't forget you are a human being. We all have our weaknesses and sometimes our emotions get control of us."  
Hilde sat up and watched the doctor. "But. it's not like that! It's not like that at all! It wasn't lust between me and Duo or between me and Heero."  
"Then tell me what it is?"  
Hilde sighed and leaned back. "It wasn't like it was out of the blue, now that I think of it. Duo. well. he and I lived and breathed like we were always in unison. We were inseparable. or so I thought. Heero is something else. Heero is not like most men. There's something that stirs within that man's heart. It draws you ever closer to him."  
"Is that what made you feel the way you did?"  
Hilde nodded as she began her story again.  
  
*****  
  
[Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, but not today, that's certain]  
  
Hilde wasn't quite sure how to handle things. Duo had taken away his things when she had gone out. Heero's belongings were sent from Relena's house to Hilde's apartment. Hilde wanted to fix things between the four of them, but how?  
It had been two weeks since Hilde and Heero had confronted their respected lovers and things became clear that the special relationship between the four that was irrevocably destroyed. Hilde wanted to make amends with Relena.  
Hilde appeared at Relena's office. Relena was polite enough to let her in. Hilde approached Relena. Relena sat at her desk talking with some tenseness in her voice. "Minister Tellerman, I perfectly understand your concerns, but there is a lot that we can't do. We are doing our best to help you with your current crisis."  
Hilde watched Relena with anxiety. Hilde hardly knew what to say.  
  
[Shall I breathe, Shall I listen?]  
  
Relena soon ended the phone conversation. She had a terribly weary expression on her face. She soon realized Hilde was standing there and her tired countenance melted away almost instinctively. It seemed to be was second nature. "Is there something you want from me Hilde?"  
Hilde breathed a little and then spoke. "I can't even begin to say everything that I wanted to say to you."  
"It's hardly necessary to do this Hilde," Relena offered a sweet smile.  
Hilde was surprised by the woman's reaction. "What?"  
Relena shook her head. "Hilde, I've come to the point where I don't feel upset or angry or even sorrowful. I don't see why you're so worried Hilde," she said with her calming smile. "It's not like you need my blessing or something to be with. Heero."  
Hilde was silent and digested the minister's words. Why was Relena taking this so. calmly? Was that the word? "Calmly?" Hilde gulped slightly. "And. what about Duo?"  
"What about Duo?" Relena studied Hilde's face. There was a seriousness in her gaze that seemed somewhat intimidating in spite of her reassuring smile.  
"Duo has been accompanying you a great deal," Hilde noted.  
Relena leaned back in her seat still watching her guest. "I assure you that you have no reason to be concerned about me and Duo. Really. I don't understand why you're so concerned about him and me."  
Hilde bit her lip. She had to admit she had no business interfering in Relena and Duo's lives. "Forgive my intrusion."  
Relena shook her head. "No need Hilde. It's perfectly understandable due to the nature of our personal. affairs. The fact of the matter is Hilde."  
  
[Do you understand me?]  
  
"Yes?" Hilde interrupted.  
"Duo and I aren't having a relationship."  
Was it relief she felt? "I see."  
Relena's smile slowly faded. "Now. I have to get back to work."  
Hilde agreed and left.  
  
*****  
  
Heero waited for Hilde outside Relena's building. "Hilde?"  
"Heero! What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be inside?"  
"That's just the thing. Une reassigned me."  
"I'm really not surprised," Hilde replied frankly. "Not after Duo left my floor at headquarters."  
"Relena was angry."  
Hilde frowned. "I don't know how she really feels. She seemed to be fine. I know she's just avoiding her real feelings. There was something missing in her."  
"Missing? What's missing?" Heero had a concerned expression on his face.  
"It's like Relena isn't really there. It's like her words were devoid of all feeling. She doesn't seem to care." Hilde could hardly believe what she was saying. How could a woman in love simply give up so easily?  
Heero hugged Hilde. "Are you frightened?"  
"Yes Heero. I'm more frightened of her apathy than her hate. I'm scared of what she'll do." Heero rubbed her back. "There's no other way. We've all been tainted by our emotions. I never thought that I could hurt anyone like this," she sobbed into his shoulder.  
  
[like a feather in the wind]  
  
"I wish I could change things," Heero replied.  
"Do you regret what you said?" Hilde looked up at him.  
"I would have been lying if I hadn't told you how I felt. Emotions can come and go. You know that I don't like to allow my feelings to control me. Yet something called me."  
"I never doubted that. But how were you so sure that telling me your feelings wasn't a mistake? Telling me how you felt could have been your way of running away from Relena."  
"You must be running away too. How could you say you love me and not be running away too?" Heero wondered why Hilde was suddenly so doubtful.  
Before Hilde could speak, Trowa appeared as he walked towards Relena's building. "Heero. Hilde," he nodded to the two lovers.  
"What are you doing here, Trowa?" Hilde asked.  
"I've been called to Relena's office for some urgent business," he replied.  
"Why wasn't aware of this?" Heero was always irritated when something secretive was going on behind his back.  
Trowa had shown no sign of judgment in his tone or expression. "I can't say why that is Heero, but I really need to get going." He said his "see you later" and walked away.  
  
*****  
  
[You have vanished and my heart went with you]  
  
Duo arrived at Relena's office at the usual time. He smiled as he watched Relena packing her suitcase. She was hurrying along, not wanting to make Duo wait for her. "Don't worry, princess. We're not in a rush."  
"I wish I could just run away," Relena replied with an upset tone in her voice.  
"Relena?" Duo was very worried.  
"Why can't I. Why can't I just run far away from this place?"  
"Trowa told me Hilde was here. Is that why." Duo knew the answer without having finish the question.  
Relena sighed. "It's not what you think. I wish you could take me somewhere that I can't be found."  
"I wish I could make you happy again, princess."  
"I'm glad I have someone like you around. You're one of those ties I have that prevents me from running away from my life," Relena looked gently into Duo's eyes.  
"Your ties?" Duo asked as he led her out of her building.  
"I once heard somewhere that in an uncertain world we need to hold on to the ties we have," Relena said.* There was a strong sense of peace in her voice.  
  
*****  
  
"So that was what Duo discussed in his journal?" Dr. Carlyle looked up from his pad.  
"Yeah. Duo seemed really confused about what she meant. Like she was."  
"I'm sure given what has happened to her since that she was suggesting suicide. but that was over a year ago. The vice-foreign seemed quite happy."  
"I see that we were fools for thinking she was really fine."  
  
To be continued.  
  
1) "Habanera" from "Carmen" by Georges Bizet  
  
2) "Mild und leise" from "Tristan und Isolde"  
  
3) "Mi chiamano Mimì" from "La Bohème" by Giacomo Puccini  
  
4) "La Donna e Mobile" from "Rigoletto" by Giuseppe Verdi  
  
5) "M'Appari" from "Martha" by Friedrich von Flotow  
  
* paraphrased from Cowboy Bebop Session 24- Hard Luck Woman, a comment a nun made to Faye Valentine about the importance of Edward finding her father. 


	8. Act 08

Disclaimer: I don't the GW characters or the music. Then what the hell DO I own? Nothing much really. Pairings: 1xR? 2xH? 1xH? This will be a mystery to the end. ^_^ Surprises: There are some. That's all there is to it. ^_^ Genres: Drama, angst, some fluff, and other delightful things. Warnings: Since this is an operafic, my characters will be even more emotional than they would be as in the original series, so they might be OOC. AN: A shout out to my beta Daniel, and the reviewers. Thanks for the love. ^_^ The brackets indicate opera libretto.  
  
Gundam Wing: Love Among the Ruins Act 8: I Move On By Sailor Celaeno  
  
"Latest report of last night's explosion is still under investigation. However there is speculation that the explosion was a result of syndicate involvement. This has yet to be confirmed by MOPS head, Zechs Merquise," Dawn Holiday began the new report.  
"We are investigating as thoroughly as possible, and I have no intention of making any speculation because we are still sifting through evidence," Zechs replied in a recorded press statement.  
"While we wait for official word, the growing Mars colony will be in a state of heightened alert. Reporting live on Mars, This is Dawn Holiday.  
  
*****  
  
[Ready for anything, night and day always busy and around]  
  
"I didn't realize it at the time, but even if we did do something more about our situation, it would have changed nothing. I kept myself busy with work, but that was really running away from my feelings about Duo. Technically Heero and I were living together, but we didn't really do much past that. It was still a big thing and we didn't feel comfortable about expressing our feelings for each other so openly," Hilde continued her story.  
"What about Heero? How did he feel?"  
Hilde ran a hand through her hair. "The guy was torn up, though he never showed it. But I knew. It was obvious whenever we'd look in each other's eyes. He'd use his work to keep himself busy. He was no longer responsible for Relena's security, but he found ways to check up on her."  
"Were you upset by that?" Dr. Carlyle asked.  
"Hardly. I wanted to find out where Duo had gone off to after his temporary assignment with Relena ended. I didn't find out until many weeks later. I guess I'll pick up to Relena's press conference just a short while before that."  
  
*****  
  
[Heavens, what a mayhem! Heavens, what crowds! One at a time for pity's sake!]  
  
Relena was swamped with millions of questions, but it was part of her lonely job to answer them. Once the chaos had run its course, Relena sat in her favorite spot in the park near her office. The day was too beautiful to stay inside. She closed her eyes and was enjoying the warm sun on her skin. The sensation of being out in the sun and free was something she cherished and wished she could feel every day. But that was asking too much.  
"You know it isn't safe to be alone without someone nearby," Heero broke the silence. He had been watching her. She was golden from the sunlight, and it gave her such an angelic quality that she couldn't help but have. She was simply beautiful and it was bothering him to no end.  
"Unlike you Heero, I can't maintain my mask all hours of the day. Even a politician needs fresh air every once in a while," Relena answered without looking at him.  
Heero frowned. "It's become as bad as they've said. I can see by your eyes."  
"My eyes? What can my eyes possibly tell you?" Relena said with an annoyed tone.  
"I heard that eyes were the windows to soul."  
Relena had a smile. "Perhaps that's true. If it is so, maybe we should never look at each other in the eyes ever again."  
Heero frowned. "What do you mean?"  
"If you could see what was in my soul then I don't think we can move on with our lives."  
  
[When I walk all alone in the street people stop and stare at me]  
  
"Huh?" Heero sat beside her and wanted to grab her and make her look at him.  
Relena closed her eyes and spoke again. "Ever since we first met those short years ago, I was always chasing after you. Do you know why?"  
"Tell me," he wanted her to continue whatever she wanted to say.  
"I wanted to be stronger and I felt your strength because you had no doubt about what your place in the world was. I had no place at the time. And now that I found my place, I didn't need your strength to hold me up. I see that now, and that's why I will move on, but you can't seem to, Heero. Why is that?" Relena asked.  
"I can't move on if you are hurting. I don't want to see you get hurt, not when the world still needs you."  
"Yes, I suppose the world still needs me. But is there someone that I need? Is there someone that I can talk to that doesn't need me for peace? I want someone that will see me, not the key to peace. I don't want the world to fall apart when I'm dead. I want a world that can live without me, and then. then I'll be free."  
"Is that what you want? You want freedom?"  
"Yes Heero. If my desire could be given to me, then I want freedom from my life, a life where no one will cling onto me for strength. Just like that day when I stopped clinging onto you." That was when she looked at him.  
There was a deep sense of earnestness in those eyes. That was her desire.  
  
[So the scent of desire is all around me]  
  
"I see. What would you do with your freedom, if you could have it?" Heero watched her closely, seeing if there was anything he could detect that was wrong with her.  
"I'd go out and find something else to do with my life. I want to be Relena Dorlian again, not the Vice Foreign minister or the ex-Queen of the World. Real peace will live beyond me. That's what I want, and I only hope that I'll be able to experience that," Relena sighed as the sun began setting.  
  
*****  
  
[Maybe never, maybe tomorrow. But not today that's for certain]  
  
Relena was tapping her pen quietly against the line pad as the presentation went on endlessly. She couldn't wait until she could leave and relax. Even just to eat a simple ham sandwich was something better than listening to the most boring presenter she had ever had the displeasure of listening to.  
Just as she was ready to scream, Duo quietly entered the room and whispered, "Come with me."  
Relena made her excuses and left with Duo. After they were a safe distance away, Relena sighed. "You saved me from a fate worse than death."  
Duo gave her a huge grin. "I figured the princess needed a knight to save her from eternal slumber." His grin broadened as she laughed. It was the first time in weeks that he had seen her happy. In fact it was at the Parisian ball, before everything changed and her laughter died. "It's nice to hear you laugh. I missed hearing that."  
"You did? Oh Duo. I hadn't realized." she began.  
Duo held a hand up to stop her train of thought. "I know how you feel, and I perfectly understand it. You don't owe me of all people any explanation. I feel it the same as you do."  
Relena nodded. "Is rescuing me the only reason you came?"  
"I came to tell you that you'll be getting a new bodyguard."  
"Oh." Relena had trouble hiding her disappointment. She loved having Duo around. His cheerful demeanor and the fact that they both had their hearts broken made their friendship stronger than ever. There was no need to hide what she really felt from him because he understood her.  
"I fear I must leave, milady. My request for reassignment came through and I'm shipping off in a couple of days," Duo gave her a gentle smile to make her feel at ease.  
Relena frowned at the words. "Where are you going?" Relena asked as they took a seat on the bench in the plaza of the conference hall.  
Duo sighed as he knew this would be difficult, but she would understand why. She's coped with things more horrible than this news he was giving her. "Top secret. Can't tell you where I'm going. I can only say that I'll be helping your office take out some trash that's piling up on you," Duo replied casually.  
Relena nodded. Mars. He was off to Mars to deal with the syndicates. "I see." Relena gave a small sigh. "Be careful Duo. Don't let anything happen to yourself."  
"Of course. I always have my back covered. You'll see me soon enough."  
  
*****  
  
[I was alone, and surrounded by nothingness]  
  
Heero closed the journal. "So. she knew he was going to Mars. Hm. I should have known. How could she not have known." Heero ran a hand through his hair. "He didn't come back like he said. He didn't make it back." Heero sighed and paced the room. He read many journal entries that made his stomach churn from the guilt. She loved Heero when she wrote the entries and quite possibly loved him still.  
Hilde was wonderful like Heero knew she was. He loved her, but now he began to wonder how they were feeling about each other now. Their relationship was marred by problems ever since it began. Was it all coming to an end? There was far too much to think about. More than even he could do in one night. He couldn't be sure of what he was going to do. Nothing made sense. Why would Relena do something like this? Was she that desperate to be free? Did she still despise him enough to do this?  
  
To be Continued.  
  
1) "Largo al Factotum" from "The Barber of Seville" by Giaochino Rossini  
  
2) "Quando men Vo" from "La Boheme" by Giacomo Puccini  
  
3) "Habanera" from "Carmen" by Georges Bizet  
  
4) "La Mamma Morta" from "Andrea Chenier" by Umberto Giordano 


	9. Act 09

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the story as a whole.  
  
Pairings: 1xR? 2xH? 1xH? This will be a mystery to the end. ^_^ Surprises: Of course there are! Don't be ridiculous! Genres: Drama, angst, and well. not much more I can say. Warnings: It's an operafic, so get the Kleenex and prepare your threats to get me to release more chapters. ^_^ AN: A shout out to my beta Daniel, and the reviewers. Thanks for the love. ^_^ The brackets indicate opera libretto.  
  
Gundam Wing: Love Among the Ruins Act 9: Lonely Hearts By Sailor Celaeno  
  
[My heart opens to your voice]  
  
"It was some time before I saw Duo again. I wondered he was doing, but I couldn't do much about it. Heero and I tried to live our life together, and we did. It wasn't perfect, but we did all right. We ate lunch together, we saw movies, and every other thing that any couple did together. But we were still torn about Duo and Relena. We loved each other, but Duo and Relena were never far from our minds. or our hearts. I would still remember Duo's voice and I felt like my heart would leap to the sound of it. Then I'd remember that it was over between Duo and me. I'd remember Heero," Hilde said reflectively as she continued her story to the doctor.  
  
*****  
  
[So trembles my heart]  
  
Heero and Hilde sat quietly on the grassy hill watching the clouds float by. It was a day off, which was rare enough and they were spending the day together. "Don't you wish you could just reach out and touch one of them? I wished that when I was young," Hilde said with a relaxed tone.  
"I see," was all Heero said.  
Hilde wanted to hear more from the ex-Gundam pilot today. It wasn't like him to be so silent around her. "What did you dream about when you were young?"  
Heero replied with a serious, though sad tone, "I wished I had a name."  
"Oh Heero. I didn't mean." Hilde began to apologize.  
"Don't worry about it, Hilde. I only talked about it to Relena." Heero sighed. "It's been a long while since I thought about that. I never had a name. I got Heero Yuy as a code name from Doctor J. Before I met him I was known as Odin Lowe Junior. Even that name wasn't mine. Before I met Odin Lowe, I had no name. My memories before Odin are hazy, but I never remembered a name. I've always gone without a real name for myself."  
Hilde nodded. "Names are important. They are more than an identity. They mean someone loved you enough to give you a name. I think Heero Yuy suits you."  
"I don't know about that. In an ironic way it's appropriate," Heero replied.  
"Don't think that way. You've brought peace for the Earth and the colonies," countered Hilde.  
"It was Relena that showed me a different path to bring that peace," Heero frowned.  
  
[Let your voice speak again]  
  
Hilde frowned as well. Once again Heero was thinking of her. "You still love her don't you?"  
"Why are you so jealous?"  
"Why are you still thinking about her while you're with me?" Hilde sat up with an angry expression.  
"Same reason why you still think about Duo," Heero returned hotly. "You love him. I love her, but we still love each other, don't we?"  
Hilde got up onto her feet. "I'm wondering if it's still worth having this relationship. I ruined one because of this relationship, and it's become clear that this isn't working."  
"What are you saying? We should break up and try to make things work with Duo and Relena? It's not going to happen. We can't go back to the way things were just because things aren't going well," Heero shouted in frustration.  
"Isn't it obvious Heero? It's just not working. We can't make something work when it's clearly falling apart."  
"I'm not ending this relationship just because you say it isn't working," he argued.  
Hilde turned around and glared at him. "I see. It's my fault you broke up with Relena. You chose to love me!"  
"You chose to love me too! You were always jealous even before we were together. You were jealous of Relena." Heero noticed Hilde turn away.  
"That's absolutely ridiculous!" Hilde started walking away.  
"Is it? I saw the way you look at Relena sometimes. When I talk to her, I noticed the way you look at her. Just like when Duo talks to her, there's this jealous look you have in your eyes," Heero continued with his accusations.  
"Like you aren't jealous of them," Hilde retorted.  
"What?" Heero's eyes had a spark of annoyance.  
"You heard me, Yuy. I know you're jealous of them too. Don't you accuse me of jealousy when you're jealous too! You're such a hypocrite. Why did you leave her if you're so in love with her?"  
"Because you are alive!" he shouted as he turned away from her.  
"Huh?" Hilde replied softly. "What do you mean?"  
"Relena loved me because I was her support. She could always count on me to watch her and feel like a complete person. I loved her because she made me embrace life. I only lived for my mission. Once the mission ended I would have no other purpose. Protecting her life became my mission. When I watched you and Duo together, I was jealous that you two knew what life was about. It's about being in the moment and embracing what life offers you. I envied him because of that. You have that strong love of life. Relena is always bound to her duties, and she had no room to live. Her love was beautiful. I couldn't help myself. Her love wasn't enough. It was a fire that couldn't keep me warm anymore." He had a sad lilt in his voice.  
"What changed? I see that spark when you look her," Hilde replied.  
"The day she told me to get out of her house. She said she loved me then and would always love me. Yet she told me to leave. I felt like a complete heel for hurting her. She needed me because in the end, I was her reminder that she's a human being. I was the one she could count on to make her be a real person. Not the Vice Foreign Minister, but to be Relena Dorlian, a woman that feels love and pain. I made her feel by breaking her heart. She's turning into stone because of me. I've killed her heart," Heero said with a frustrated attitude.  
Hilde didn't look at him. "Maybe you should go talk to her."  
"What?" he asked.  
"Talk to her. It's only right that if you are still in love with her, you should talk to her. It's only fair if you can talk her while you can," she replied.  
"But Hilde."  
"Trust me, Heero. You should talk to her while you have a chance to do that," Hilde said softly.  
"Is that what you really want?" He touched her shoulders in a gentle, tender way.  
"Do that, Heero."  
  
*****  
  
[If my dream came true]  
  
Duo sat and read the morning paper at the mess hall when the sound of laughter and cheering made him look up. "Hey, what's up?" Duo waved at the group of young men.  
"Hey Duo!" shouted a blond man, who oddly enough reminded Duo of Quatre.  
"Simon! Why don't you guys join me?" Duo patted his table. "Got seats right here!"  
"Sure! Come on!" he turned to the other men.  
Soon four other men joined Duo. Simon Fairly was also a Preventer who had transferred to Mars. Coincidentally, he worked in the same floor as Duo and Hilde. He was a tall guy, about the same height Duo now was. He had blond hair, gentle blue eyes, but he was as extroverted as Duo. Felix Lorenz was another transferred Preventer with dull, red hair and an amazing sense of humor. They were "the Three Musketeers" of the MOPS Special Division. "So, ready for the raid guys?" Felix and Simon were going to bust an illegal weapons transport coming in that night. There was rumor that the transport cargo was worth nearly 3 million and would be a huge success in the ever dangerous war against the Martian Syndicates.  
  
"You bet Duo. We're ready to kick mobster ass," smirked Felix.  
"You watch your backs. You never know what they'll be up to," Duo said with some serious concern.  
Simon and the others had somber expressions on their faces. "Yeah, sure thing Maxwell," replied Simon.  
"Let's change the subject a little. If you could have one wish given to you right now, what would you wish for?" asked Felix.  
A few of the guys said what they wanted. Felix said, "I sure could use a barbecue and a cold one right now. My dad had one ever weekend during the summer when I was a kid. I missed that," he said with the look of nostalgia on his face. His father had died when he was sixteen from a car accident.  
"I kind of had a wish like that too. I wished I could have ma's wind chimes with me," Simon replied.  
"Wind chimes?" asked Duo.  
"They're these wind chimes with blue butterflies on 'em. Ma got 'em when she turned sixteen. It was a gift from my grandpa. She loved those chimes. She'd hang them outside the kitchen windows. I'd sit by the windows watching the clouds. Ma would be doing something, like making a pie, or something real tasty, you know? Then the breeze comes in and the chimes would jangle and stuff. She'd say 'Listen to that Simon. The wind is singing. They're saying hello.' And I'd smile at her and watch the clouds again. Of course, Ma died a couple years ago. She got really sick and well, the chimes are gone." Simon ended his story.  
"Gone? What do you mean?" Duo asked.  
Simon just shrugged. "I dunno. They just disappeared. Don't know where Ma put them. What about you Duo?"  
"I wished. I wanted to find a family. All I ever wanted was some people that said they cared about me and that I belonged with them. I was an orphan, and well. and when I was a kid, I tasted that feeling. I had that wish for a brief moment, but that ended. I still wish that."  
Simon lifted up his root beer can. "Let's toast."  
  
[Let us drink]  
  
"What to drink to guys?" Duo said with his usual smile.  
"To the fulfillment of wishes and dreams!" There was no questioning of that.  
  
*****  
  
"I often wondered what Duo would do now, if he could be here and give me advice. Would he have given me comfort for my time of confusion?" Hilde said quietly.  
"You know him so well, what do you think?" was all Carlyle said.  
"I'm still trying to figure it out."  
  
To be continued.  
  
1) "Mon coeur s'ouvre à la voix" from "Samson and Delila" by C. Saint-Saens  
  
2) "Celeste Aida" from "Aida" by Giuseppe Verdi  
  
3) "Libiamo, libiamo ne'lieti calici" from "La Traviata" by Giuseppe Verdi 


	10. Act 10

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the story as a whole.  
  
Pairings: 1xR? 2xH? 1xH? This will be a mystery to the end. ^_^ Surprises: Of course there are! Don't be ridiculous! Genres: Drama, angst, and well. stuff. Warnings: It's an operafic, so get the Kleenex and prepare your threats to get me to release more chapters. ^_^ AN: To my beta Daniel, and the reviewers. Thanks for the love. ^_^ The brackets indicate opera libretto.  
  
Gundam Wing: Love Among the Ruins Act 10: Strangers By Sailor Celaeno  
  
"Sometimes, when I think back to that day I saw Duo again, I found it hard to believe that he could ever be so sad. I thought he was so happy with life, but I could see that he was more hurt than I thought he would be. It was after he spoke to you doctor. He was seeing you because Simon and Felix did die at the raid. I'll never forget him as he was that day," Hilde said softly.  
  
*****  
  
[the tears of pain]  
  
Duo walked down the hallway from Doctor Carlyle's office. Hilde's department was not far away and she soon spotted him walking near her cubicle. She quickly went towards Duo and called out, "Duo! Wait!"  
Duo reluctantly stopped and waited for Hilde to approach. "You wanted to talk to me Preventer?" he said with a businesslike tone.  
"Duo. What's with the formality?" she asked meekly.  
Duo had a small chuckle. "This is Preventer Headquarters. We're on duty, Preventer, so we should address each other accordingly."  
"You're going to be like that, are you?" Hilde said with some annoyance. "If you want to be that way, Preventer, then so be it," Hilde replied.  
"Was there something you wanted to speak to me about?" Duo continued his disinterestedness.  
"I thought you were on Mars. What are you doing back here?" she asked.  
"Some of the guys thought I should come back for a visit. See a shrink," he spoke casually.  
"Shrink? Why?" she frowned with concern.  
"Simon and Felix are dead."  
Hilde gasped. "They. they are? Oh dear God. What. what happened?"  
  
[My history is brief]  
  
"They were on a drug raid. There was a shootout. They both got hit. I was their closest friend, so they wanted me to take leave for a couple weeks. Get grief counseling and all that. You'll be seeing me around again for the next couple of weeks. Then I'll be off to Mars again," he replied with little emotion.  
"Why won't you talk to me?" she went straight to the most important issue on her mind.  
"I don't have much to say to you, Hilde."  
"Duo. I just wanted to talk. Do you hate me that much that you won't even give me ten minutes to tell you what I really wanted to say to you?" she began crying as she looked at him with tender, sad eyes.  
Duo looked at her and replied quietly. "Fine. Let's go outside."  
  
[Do you understand me?]  
  
They were alone outside and Hilde was excited by the opportunity. Duo had shoved his hands into his pockets and was silent the entire time. "Duo?"  
"Yeah?" he answered to make sure he didn't make her cry again.  
"I've missed you."  
"I see," was his reply.  
"Is that all you have to say?" she looked up at him.  
"Not much to say at this point you know Hilde? I don't see that it's the time to talk about this anymore, Hilde."  
Hilde frowned. "Why must you make things so difficult? Can't we have a civil conversation without having another argument? I don't want to make it more difficult," she said sadly.  
Duo sighed. "What else is there to say? You're with Heero, and I'm alone again. What's more is there to talk about?"  
"Things aren't doing so well with Heero."  
"Oh?" Duo feigned surprise. "What can't decide what color the apartment walls should be?"  
"He can't forget Relena. And I. I can't forget you."  
  
[All of a sudden, it is silent]  
  
Duo just stood there silently listening and pondering what she was telling him.  
"Duo?" she asked him. She reached her hand to touch his face gently.  
As she gently rubbed his cheek, he reached and touched her hand. "Why did you have to tell me that now?"  
"I can't explain it. It felt like I had to say it or I'd regret not saying what was in my heart," she said.  
He quietly wrapped his arms around. "Oh Hilde." he leaned down and kissed her deeply and more passionately than he had in a long time.  
When he let her go, her heart fluttered. "Duo." she sighed.  
  
[dream away]  
  
He let her go. "Don't let it go to your head. I thought I'd give you something to remember me by. It might make you sleep easier with something pleasant from me," he replied frankly.  
"You're being mean and cruel," she retorted.  
"You're one to talk," he huffed. "You're telling me things that don't even matter anymore. You think that saying that you can't forget me would make things easier and we'd be happy again. Don't be foolish, Hilde. I'm here to wrap up some business that has nothing to do with you."  
"Are you really that bitter and vengeful?"  
"Not bitter, not vengeful. I'm just a man trying live his life all over again, trying to find a new life for myself. That means leaving the past behind. That's why I'm here."  
"I see."  
Duo walked away. Hilde was left with one thought. She'd find a way into his life, even if she had follow him to Mars.  
  
*****  
  
[I only think of you]  
  
"Relena?"  
"Heero?" She looked at him as he approached her. Her eyes were wide with surprise at seeing him by her office.  
"I want talk to you," he replied.  
"Aren't we doing that already?" she offered him an amused smile.  
"It's important."  
"I see. Then sit down," she gestured to the chair opposite hers.  
"I'm glad to see I caught you at a good time. You've been so busy lately that I haven't been able to see you. Are you getting enough sleep?" he continued the conversation with the sound of worry in his voice.  
"Enough to get by." Relena watched as his countenance turned into a look of disapproval. "Don't you start about that. Nine hours of sleep is a luxury to me now. They simply haven't invented enough hours for a person to get things done!" she replied with an angry huff.  
"Grumpiness is a sign of insomnia," Heero replied.  
"Don't you dare! Just tell me what you wanted to say to me so badly. You know I don't often get a relatively peaceful hour anymore," she returned with a slight growl of annoyance.  
"Fine then. I was hoping we could start over," he said with no attempt to make any fancy speech.  
Relena stared at him with disbelief. "What?"  
"I realized that we ended things the wrong way and that I should have been more careful of what you really needed." He paused to watch her reaction. When she didn't interrupt, he continued. "For a while now, I began looking back on how things were going and I knew how hard it was for you to find out about me and Hilde. It was never easy for any of us. It's selfish of me loving you, while I was with her, just as it was it was selfish of me to have feelings when I was with you. It's no excuse, but." he paused to sigh. ". I was as confused too. I don't make sense do I? How can a person not know how he really feels?"  
Relena listened to him silently. She could see the turmoil in his face as he tried to explain himself. "No. I do understand."  
"What? You do?" he looked at her with surprise.  
  
"It's part of being human. to have feelings for people. We don't. we aren't born loving one person. How could we? It's selfish to have someone only love you and no one else isn't it? We can't help whom other people love. That's real love, Heero. The ability to care for someone. and understand that they won't be next to you 24/7. Sometimes loving someone is pain, but."  
  
[the pain of death]  
  
"But?" Heero spoke quietly.  
Relena had a sad smile as she continued. ".but the pain is worth it because the memory of their presence makes you warm inside."  
"Is it too late? Is it, Relena?"  
"I don't know, Heero. I'm not sure."  
"I'll always remember. the memory of your presence."  
Relena just watched him with a tender sparkle in her eyes.  
  
*****  
  
[fluttering inside night and day]  
  
"I'm no one special. Yet how can I be feeling such love, longing, and fear like some. heroine in a great tragedy? It doesn't make much sense. Why does my life have to be this way?" Hilde murmured as she stared up at the ceiling again.  
"No one ever wants bad things to happen. As for these feelings you're expressing, it means you're human. You're alive. You think you're no one special, but you are. You're special to the ones that love you. Isn't that what matters?" the doctor replied.  
Hilde had a sad, tiny smile. "I wish I had I heard those words earlier. They might the rest of my story easier to deal with."  
  
To be continued.  
  
1)"Vesti La Giubba" from "I Pagliacci" by Ruggero Leoncavallo  
  
2) "Mi chiamano Mimì" from "La Bohème" by Giacomo Puccini  
  
3) "Votre toast, je peux vous le render" from "Carmen" by Georges Bizet  
  
4) "Recondita Armonia" from "Tosca" by Giacomo Puccini  
  
5) "Der Hölle Rache" from "The Magic Flute" by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart  
  
6) "Non Piu Andrai" from "The Marriage of Figaro" by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart 


	11. Act 11

Disclaimer: I don't the GW characters or the music. Then what the hell DO I own? Nothing much really. Pairings: 1xR? 2xH? 1xH? This will be a mystery to the end. ^_^ Surprises: There are some. That's all there is to it. ^_^ Genres: Drama, angst, some fluff, and other delightful things. Warnings: Since this is an operafic, my characters will be even more emotional than they would be as in the original series, so they might be OOC. AN: A shout out to my beta Daniel, and the reviewers. Thanks for the love. ^_^ The brackets indicate opera libretto.  
  
Gundam Wing: Love Among the Ruins Act 11: Shot Through the Heart By Sailor Celaeno  
  
[I shall go far away like the echo of the pious church bell]  
  
"So, what is the plan, Dash?" Duo asked with a cool air in his voice.  
"Pretty simple, Maxwell. We're doing an infiltration," replied his new boss, Arnold Ashland.  
"Infiltration, eh?" Duo had a bemused smile on his face. "Sounds like the old days back in the war."  
"You're one to talk. You're not more than twenty yet and here you are talking like an old man," replied Dash. Dash was a nickname the men called him. As a MOPS commander, he led the special team that Duo had been assigned to.  
Duo had so much experience that he was the best resource the elite team needed. "Well, war and conflict age people faster than anything. Some of your other boys should know that better than anyone else."  
Dash had a winsome smile. "I know. If only we didn't have to deal with shit like this." Dash sighed. "I'm getting too old to deal with bastards that try to make life so fucked up."  
Duo smirked. "Yeah well, these things pop up every now and then. I needed the chance to do something with my life."  
"You're a goddamn Gundam pilot. You saved the goddamn world from destroying itself. That's something to live with."  
"That's the past, Dash. A man can't live on the glories of the past only. He needs to know he still has a place in the world now. You know what I mean, don't you?" Duo had a slightly sad tone in his voice.  
"That doesn't mean you can't think of the past, Maxwell. Mankind needs to see its past to understand why they ended up in the place they are."  
"A man looks at his past because he's about to die. He needs to know that his life was worth something before he kicks the bucket. What will I see when that day comes, Dash? Is that time of being a Gundam pilot the only thing worth remembering? If it is, then I've had a pretty short, dull life." Duo simply walked away from Dash with a silent aura about him.  
  
*****  
  
[dreams and visions, and castles in the air]  
  
"You ever heard the story about the monk and the butterfly?" Hilde asked.  
Dr. Carlyle nodded. "A monk sleeps in a field and dreams he is a butterfly. And when he wakes..."  
"He sees a butterfly like the one in his dream fly by. He asks himself..."  
"Am I man dreaming I'm a butterfly? Or..."  
"Am I a butterfly dreaming I'm a man?" Hilde smiled a little as she finished the story. "I almost wonder whether or not I'm in some crazy dream that will never end. I wish it was a dream," Hilde sighed. "I thought that I'd wake up in Duo's arms and everything would be fine."  
"What about Heero? How did he feel?" asked Carlyle.  
  
*****  
  
[And how do I live? I live.]  
  
Hilde had entered the kitchen with the scent of freshly brewed coffee waiting. Heero was already sitting at the table drinking and reading the paper. "Good morning, Heero."  
"Morning Hilde," he looked up long enough to greet her.  
"Anything interesting this morning?" she inquired as she poured herself a cup of the aromatic java.  
"There's going to be a summit in Rome about the Martian situation. You know who will be there," he said without looking up.  
"I see," Hilde said quietly as she looked into her coffee mug. "Are you going?"  
Heero was silent for a short moment. "No."  
"I know you want to." Hilde had a stern look on her face that matched her tone.  
"Relena and I understand that we have completely separated from each other. She doesn't need me around. And I have you with me. She and I are living without each other. Are you able to do the same with Duo?" He retorted and gave Hilde a stern look of his own.  
  
[And murmured in a sweet, melodious voice: "You must live!"]  
  
Hilde appeared sad, but her expression soon hardened. "I am. And I will Heero." She stared into her mug again. "I just wish we didn't have to go around with this life with so much sorrow with ourselves."  
"You're really worried about where Duo is." Heero didn't need to hear a word from her. He knew by her silence. "Looks like I'm back and using my hacking skills."  
"You'll look for him?" Hilde watched him tenderly.  
"You're not the only one who needs to make peace him. I need to move on. We all do."  
Hilde nodded. She walked over and softly kissed Heero. "You are a good man. That's why I fell in love with you."  
  
*****  
  
[Do I alone hear this melody?]  
  
Relena wanted to cry. She missed having Duo cheer her up when she had a bad day. It wasn't often that she could find anyone who she could confide all her woes to. She wanted to find a human being to connect with. She lost Hilde, Heero, and now Duo. What was left?  
Relena had one person to talk with. She waited at the restaurant and soon spotted Sally approaching. "Good afternoon. Sorry to keep you waiting, but you know how work can be."  
"It's all right. I wasn't expecting you to come on the dot. How are you?"  
"I'm doing pretty well. Only thing is that Wufei is his usual self. Are you going to stay on Mars long? You look like you need a serious vacation," Sally had a worried look on her face.  
  
[lamenting delight, telling it all]  
  
Relena sighed as they took their seats at a table. "Only in my dreams, Sally. Mars isn't getting any better and I only hope it'll stop. I often wonder will it be like this forever..."  
"You haven't slept much, which hardly surprises me. But really, Relena. You should try to find some peace within your heart. When you find that peace, your vision clears and you'll find the answers you're looking for." Sally leaned back into her seat. "It's funny the things you get when you do enough reading, you know?"  
Relena smiled back. "I see, Sally. You do surprise me."  
"Now, what's the special of the day?" Sally mused as she opened the menu.  
  
*****  
  
"Duo was unabashed about his feelings with Dash. I was glad that Dash talked to Duo after he was reassigned from MOPS. It made me understand how Duo felt before..." Hilde paused.  
"I'm sure it was some comfort to you, Hilde."  
  
[How these fragrant words wander around in my mind]  
  
"Yes. I often wondered what Duo felt and did after we split up. Did he resent me? Did he forgive me? I just didn't know what to think. It just wouldn't leave me alone. How could I go on without knowing what was going through his mind? It left me ill at ease. Even now... I realize he died without even mentioning my name. Really, why should he? I broke his heart. So maybe he was better off not thinking about me," Hilde said as she stared at the ticking clock. Not time yet.  
"Perhaps. But what happened after your conversation with Heero?"  
  
*****  
  
Hilde and Heero sat at their computers and began searching through the many files attempting to locate the information on Duo's location. "Where do you think he is now?" Hilde broke the short silence.  
"Don't know. If I know him, he'll want something interesting to keep him on his toes," Heero had a slight smile as he thought of his old friend.  
"Do you suppose he's on... Mars?" Hilde was a more than a little concerned at the idea.  
Heero was grim. "Do you really want me to answer that?"  
  
[You feel as if you're dying]  
  
Hilde wasn't sure that she had anything to say in reply. Her heart sunk as she knew in her own heart he was there. He was putting his life in danger just to get away from her and everything that was about their life together. "I..." she just sighed sadly.  
Heero reached over and touched her hand. "I know that you still love him. When you find him, tell him what you want to say. Don't go on regretting things that weren't said." Heero turned back to what he was doing.  
Hilde looked at him. "Thank you."  
"Found him."  
Hope at last.  
  
[Tremble with love and hope!]  
  
*****  
  
"So we went off to Mars. I needed to feel like things weren't completely hopeless. I just wanted to see him again. I didn't want him to die. He'd die still hating me. That was what I was most afraid of," Hilde began crying again.  
Carlyle sat back in his chair letting his patient release her emotions. "I completely understand. Letting all this off your chest will help you deal with things better."  
Hilde wiped her eyes. "All I have to tell you next is... Mars."  
  
To be continued...  
  
1) "Ebben! No Andro Lontana" from "La Wally" by Alfredo Catalani  
  
2) "Che Gelida Manina" from "La Boheme" by Giacomo Puccini  
  
3) "La Mamma Morta" from "Andrea Chenier" by Umberto Giordano  
  
4) "Mild und leise" from "Tristan und Isolde"  
  
5) "Quando men Vo" from "La Boheme" by Giacomo Puccini  
  
6) "Nessun Dorma" from "Turandot" by Giacomo Puccini 


	12. Act 12

Disclaimer: I don't the GW characters or the music. Then what the hell DO I own? Nothing much really. Pairings: 1xR? 2xH? 1xH? This will be a mystery to the end. ^_^ Surprises: There are some. That's all there is to it. ^_^ Genres: Drama, angst, some fluff, and other delightful things. Warnings: Since this is an operafic, my characters will be even more emotional than they would be as in the original series, so they might be OOC. AN: A shout out to my beta Daniel, and the reviewers. Thanks for the love. ^_^ The brackets indicate opera libretto.  
  
Gundam Wing: Love Among the Ruins Act 12: I'll Say Goodbye By Sailor Celaeno  
  
[Shall I breathe]  
  
Heero finally left the apartment and began walking. He'd been staring at the four walls of the small apartment he shared with Hilde. He could swear that the walls were closing in on him. He just had to get out before he suffocated in there. Heero decided that walking by the water was what he needed to do. The cool air would really relieve the sensation of doom that swelled over him. "When will this end?" He kept the question running through his head over and over again as he walked on the pavement.  
He approached the lake in the giant park. Relena liked coming here and watch the sun set over the water. She loved the flaming, red sphere of fury that set beneath the sun. Were her feelings like the burning sun?  
  
[Shall I listen?]  
  
There was the shout of laughter in distance and the water softly splashing and flowing under the bridge that Heero stood on. When Relena was alone, he'd watch her from far away. She just stared towards the sun, even after it had set. The moon would start to brighten, but she would just continue staring. "What was she looking at?" Heero wondered as he watched the sunset.  
  
*****  
  
[I was alone]  
  
Relena didn't quite know what to think. She was just staring at the sunset and felt sad. But for some reason, she just didn't cry. "Heero, why did you do this?" Relena would never admit to anyone, not to Duo, not anyone. She loved Heero and hated him too. The sunset was red and slowly sank beneath the horizon. Relena watched quietly with the breeze at her back, and the sounds of laughter and water flowing under the bridge she stood on.  
Something about standing here made so much sense to her. There was a promise of peace here, and she wanted to find it. Something to settle her heart. Would the pain in her heart ever go away? Relena watched the beauty of the scenery. The water softly rippled. When the wind blew, there was all this churning and stirring on the water. "But when the wind settles, there is calm again." Relena nodded and could understand. She just watched the sunset.  
  
*****  
  
[I am peaceful]  
  
"It's one of those days where I think about the past. I think about the hellos and good-byes that I've said and the faces come and go. I didn't really want to say goodbye to Duo because then that meant he was out of my life forever. I didn't want to have him out of my life. I wanted no goodbyes from him." Hilde sat up in the seat and watched the doctor observing her.  
"That's why you wanted to find him?"  
"I didn't want him to be angry with me. I wanted to feel his heart beating in time with mine. I didn't want to see people's eyes on me, thinking who knows what from what I did. I didn't want to see Duo's eyes full of hate and disgust with me. I wanted him to love me again. It was stupid of me to have such hopes, but I couldn't help having them. I still loved him."  
  
*****  
  
[When I walk the street alone]  
  
Hilde had finally arrived on Mars. It didn't take long for her to find out where Duo could be found. Hilde approached Duo as he walked out of his Martian apartment building. "Duo," she said, such tender eyes looking at him sadly.  
"Hilde," Duo glanced at the young woman.  
"Duo," she replied again. He was just as he left her. At least it appeared so, but there was a sharpness in his voice where there was once ease. She had been the harbinger of ruin for him. Now here they were, ex- lovers standing just ten feet from each other, yet never more apart than before.  
"What are you doing here?" Duo asked as he pulled on his jacket. He carefully inspected his gun, making sure it was ready for his next mission.  
"I wanted to see you again." Hilde watched him working on his gun like he always did before they headed off on a potentially dangerous mission.  
"It's funny you said that," he had a smile. "Just like when Relena said that to He—"Duo stopped as the smile disappeared from his face. He made one last check before putting the gun into the holster. He continued walking and Hilde turned around as he walked past her and towards the front door.  
"I love you still, you know?" Hilde watched him sadly.  
"There's little reason for you tell me that at this time. It changes nothing between us," Duo replied with a sigh. He stopped long enough to speak before continuing his walk.  
Hilde pursued him and tried to grab his arm, but he shrugged free.  
  
[you shrink from me?]  
  
"Duo, wait!"  
"For what?" he screamed at her. "What should I fucking wait for, Hilde? There is nothing to wait for. I'm ready to move on. I thought you were too!"  
"Not until I could see you again," Hilde fought back her frustrated tears.  
"Well you have," he marched towards his car in the parking lot.  
"Not like this. I didn't want us to end this conversation like this! I didn't want you to walk away from me with hate. Can't you see I didn't want things to end like this?"  
"It's a bit late for that now isn't it?" he growled. He refused to look at her, but he didn't move any further.  
"Is that all you have to left to say to me?" she said softly.  
  
[you don't want to express your anguish]  
  
"You can't even begin to understand what is happening now, Hilde. If only you'd stop thinking about the past and open your eyes to the present, you'd be less foolish than you already are." Duo shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket. "I've discovered something important, and I don't want to go back."  
  
[I'm anxious to know]  
  
"Don't want to go back? What do you mean?" Hilde asked fearfully.  
"I'm not going to just say that we can be a couple or have that old life like before. It hurt learning the truth about how you felt. But I've realized that I needed to leave you for my own good. I regret nothing."  
  
[The plan seems to me a little rash]  
  
"So risking your life in a dangerous mission was what you needed?" Hilde shouted angrily. "Isn't it a bit much to get back at me?"  
Duo shook his head and chuckled patronizingly. "Why must you think of my actions in terms of you? That's rather selfish of you to assume that of me. If you can be fickle about me, I could fall out of love with you just as easily. We all wake up from our dreams eventually, Hilde."  
  
[the hope of changing that ungrateful heart]  
  
"What about those times we were there for each other?" Hilde brought up with tender reflection.  
"You should have thought of that before, now shouldn't you? Don't think you can blame me for ending this. You made your feelings clear enough that night, and I think that's all there is to it." Duo said with a coldness that chilled Hilde.  
"All right then. You've made yourself perfectly understood. I won't bring this up ever again."  
"You were always stubborn. I'm glad it got through your willful head that just because you do something for love, that it'll work out. It doesn't." Duo continued walking.  
Hilde watched him head towards his car. He soon drove away. That was the last time she ever saw him again.  
  
*****  
  
[of infidelity, jealousy, and rage!]  
  
"That was the last time I ever saw him. I still wish it would have ended differently, but that's over and done with..." Hilde sobbed again.  
"And this is how you killed Duo..."  
"He said he did it to find something within him. But I don't totally believe that. He wouldn't have done that if I hadn't drove him. I know it. He felt all the dark emotions towards me and he held them within him even then," Hilde sank into her seat.  
The doctor cleared his throat. "Duo is capable of choosing his decisions. Even if you don't agree with them, he chose to do what he did."  
"Doctor?" Hilde looked at him with a little surprise.  
"I had been helping him after Felix and Simon died. I admit that I wondered if there could have been something I could have done. I'm a therapist and it is my job to help my patients deal with their issues. But it didn't take long for me to remember that we are only human, Hilde. We cannot predict the actions of others nor can we control what decisions people make. We can guide, and we can advise. We are even able to influence, but in the end..."  
"Duo chose to do a dangerous mission. He chose to risk his life in spire of the risks," she finished the thought.  
Dr. Carlyle nodded. "Exactly, Hilde. It might not have been the right choice, but it was his choice. For him, his choice is the only right one there can ever be."  
Hilde growled slightly, "I just..."  
"Holding anger at yourself isn't helping you either. Please tell me more."  
"I guess you're right," she replied.  
"But?" he added.  
"But my heart tells me otherwise."  
  
To be continued... roll credits!  
  
1) "Mild und leise" from "Tristan und Isolde"  
  
2) "La Mamma Morta" from "Andrea Chenier" by Umberto Giordano  
  
3) "Mi chiamano Mimì" from "La Bohème" by Giacomo Puccini  
  
4) "Quando men Vo" from "La Boheme" by Giacomo Puccini  
  
5) "Dove sono i bei momenti" from "The Marriage of Figaro" by Mozart A. Mozart 


	13. Act 13

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the story as a whole. Pairings: 1xR? 2xH? 1xH? This will be a mystery to the end. ^_^ Surprises: Well duh! Genres: If you don't know by now... Warnings: It's an operafic, so get the Kleenex and prepare your threats for more chapters. ^_^ AN: The brackets indicate opera libretto. To the reviewers. And Daniel... why can't you hurry?! ^_~  
  
Gundam Wing: Love Among the Ruins Act 13: Solitaire By Sailor Celaeno  
  
[She appeared to me, full of love]  
  
Heero made his return pilgrimage to the hospital. Like clockwork, he would appear and wait outside Relena's hospital room. The nurses had learned that when the man with unruly, brown hair appeared by the minister's room to avoid him unless he spoke first. The nurses speculated who he was. The grim expression on his face, the sad eyes he had as he watched Relena through the observation window at her door meant one thing. He was her lover. It didn't matter that he was dating a cute woman with dark hair that accompanied him sometimes. It was obvious who the one he really loved was.  
Heero didn't know or give a damn about what everyone else thought. What mattered was that Relena was now a vegetable because of him. "Maybe I was the weak one. I thought that walking away from you wouldn't be so difficult. It seems you were the one who had no trouble walking away, Relena." He missed her smiling and talking to him. He didn't need to say much to let her know he was listening.  
  
[which distresses me and breaks my heart]  
  
She was silently in her hospital bed, serenely tormenting Heero without realizing it. Would she ever awaken? Would he ever see her familiar blue eyes looking at him again?  
  
*****  
  
[to see you again]  
  
"What did you do after you confronted him?" asked Dr. Carlyle.  
"I wasn't sure what else to do except help him," she said softly.  
"Help him? How?" Carlyle asked with some surprise.  
"He didn't want me to get involved, even during the war. But I was moved not just because I love Duo. I cared about what he cared about, the security of all people in the world. I could see that Mars would collapse to greater danger and violence than was already happening. He couldn't let something bad happen. I always promised that I'd do what I could to help him win. I wasn't about to back down from that. So I went after him."  
  
*****  
  
The warehouse district of New Port City was not so different from any city on Earth. One of the main differences was that a glass dome was overhead, and beyond the dome was a rust-colored sky. The hope was that within several more decades, technology would advance far enough to allow a more hospitable environment that would allow people to live outside of domes. As of that moment, it was still a dream. Hilde was desperate and knew she had little chance of finding Duo in time, but she still needed to try. It would probably kill her not to do something.  
As Hilde approached the scene of the raid, she could hear explosions that roared through the formerly quiet night. "Duo..." She sped the car and she soon saw the flames leap high up towards the sky. Gunfire was scattered all over the place. Hilde had hers by her side. She quickly ran from the car and maneuvered herself into the gunfight.  
"Whoa! Preventer Schbeiker!" she shouted at a man aiming at her. He clearly had a MOPS uniform on.  
"Damn it! What's Une doing sending one of her people into our business?" the man growled.  
"I'm here for Duo Maxwell," she said.  
"Maxwell?" the man said with surprise as they both took cover from the whizzing bullets. They both fired, and in between offensive rounds, the man spoke again. "You're that girl..."  
"Uh?" Hilde asked in surprise.  
"You're that girl. Hilde, right?"  
Hilde nodded quickly before returning fire at some syndicate men. She hit one, but the fight continued.  
"So... you're the famous Hilde that Maxwell talks about," The man seemed to scoff at the memory of Duo's mentioning of Hilde. "I see why he had a thing for you. You're either gutsy or stupid to chase after a guy to a hellhole gun fight like this."  
Hilde could hardly speak. "He talks about me?"  
The remaining two men were finally hit. Hilde's new partner gestured for her to follow. "Yeah, the guy talks about you even though you broke the guy's heart." He observed that Hilde looked a little sad. "I'll be blunt kid. I don't give a fuck about how it happened. It's in the past and this isn't exactly the sort of time to talk about that sort of thing."  
"You're right mister..."  
"Just call me Dash."  
  
[Don't disappear]  
  
"Dash, huh. Nice to meet you Dash." They quickly raced towards the fire.  
"It's a raid gone bad," Dash growled as people ran all over the place.  
"Duo..." Hilde began tearing up.  
Two men approached Dash, with one supporting the other. "Reg! Lee! Damn it..."  
"Dash! It's a total mess in there. We barely made it out alive. If it wasn't for Duo..." the more injured of the two men cried out in agony. Blood dripped down his face. His leg had been injured badly. What remained of his pant leg was soaked and dark red.  
"Duo? Where is he?" Hilde asked fearfully.  
"We heard lots of shouting further in the warehouse. Duo told us to hurry up and get out while he went to help the others inside. That's last we heard out of him," the other man spoke.  
"Oh..." Hilde said quietly. Just as they finished their conversation, a spectacular explosion occurred.  
"Shit!" shouted Dash. "Damn it all!"  
  
*****  
  
[Those beautiful days are gone forever]  
  
"The fires were put out after a couple of hours. Soon we all began digging around for bodies and any evidence that could be used against the Martian syndicate. It took hours of digging. By then Heero had also come and..." Hilde began crying again.  
"Yes Hilde?"  
"That was when we found..."  
  
*****  
  
[cry out with their laments]  
  
"Hilde..." Heero said gently as he touched her shoulder.  
  
"Heero..." she said quietly.  
"You've been awake almost 26 hours straight. Try to sleep," Heero replied.  
"I can't... not without knowing where Duo is," she looked sadly into his eyes.  
Heero sighed. "Don't do this to yourself. This isn't the slightest bit healthy. You've got to pull yourself together. Get some sleep."  
"I'll never rest easy until..."  
Just then another agent ran in. "We found something."  
Heero and Hilde raced outside to see a group of people huddled together looking at some debris that they were just uncovering. "That's all we could find?" Dash's voice rose above the others.  
"Yeah, afraid so," someone else replied.  
Hilde approached. "I..."  
"I think you'll want this." Dash approached her. He held two objects in his hands.  
"I see," Hilde replied with a brave face. She accepted Duo's badge and gun. She waited for privacy to cry.  
  
*****  
  
[I only think of you]  
  
Relena arrived a few, short hours later. She left her meetings to arrive on Mars and have a quick briefing of the situation before appearing at the private conference room where Heero and Hilde were also waiting. "I can't believe it," she said when she entered the room.  
"Relena," Noin approached her sister-in-law. "We're glad that you're here."  
"I ordered a flight to New Port as soon as I heard. I still can't believe he's gone..."  
"None of us can," Noin nudged her head to Heero and Hilde. Hilde was sobbing on Heero's shoulder.  
"I see," Relena frowned. "I perfectly understand. We have a lot to discuss, Noin."  
"But what about...?"  
Without looking at the couple again, Relena merely replied, "They have each other. They'll be fine without my interference."  
Noin and Relena walked away having an important conversation. Heero silently noticed Relena walking away. "I wanted to talk to her," he thought silently. He turned back to the sobbing woman by his side.  
  
*****  
  
[Time has fled]  
  
"I have never known until later how much Heero wanted to talk to her. It seems that we both lost our opportunities that day. I lost Duo, and he lost his chance with Relena," Hilde sighed as her story came to an especially sorrowful turn. "That's it. That's how he died. He tried to save others. But if I hadn't forced Duo away..."  
"You can't prevent something you didn't know would happen. Hilde, you love Duo dearly. You would never have harmed him that way. I want you to understand that we are only human. We love others and it's not easy, but you didn't really kill Duo. You regret his death because you can't forgive yourself for hurting him. You have to learn to move on with your life. Blaming yourself won't bring him back, nor will you be able live a constructive life. Do you think that you can open yourself enough to try?" Carlyle asked her.  
  
[I can be happy]  
  
"Maybe I could. But I don't know how I can," Hilde looked at her hands sadly.  
"One day at a time Hilde. Just one day at a time," the doctor said reassuringly.  
Hilde sighed softly. "Well, I guess all I have left to talk about it how Relena ended up in a coma."  
  
To be continued... Roll the credits!  
  
1) "M'Appari" from "Martha" by Friedrich von Flotow  
  
2) "Le Fleur que tu m'avais jetee" from "Carmen" from Georges Bizet  
  
3) "Song to the Moon" from "Rusalka" by Antonin Dvorak  
  
4) "O Mimi tu piu non Torni" from "La Boheme by Giacomo Puccini  
  
5) "Va Pensiero" from "Nabucco" from Giuseppe Verdi  
  
6) "Recondita Armonia" from "Tosca" by Giacomo Puccini  
  
7) "E Lucevan le stelle" from "Tosca" by Giacomo Puccini  
  
8) "Der Vogelfänger bin ich ja" from "The Magic Flue" by Wolfgang A. Mozart 


	14. Act 14

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the story as a whole. Pairings: 1xR? 2xH? 1xH? This will be a mystery to the end. Surprises: Of course there are! Don't be ridiculous! Genres: Drama, angst, and well... stuff. Warnings: It's an operafic, so get the Kleenex and prepare your threats to get me to release more chapters. AN: To my beta Daniel, and the reviewers. Thanks for the love. The brackets indicate opera libretto.  
  
Gundam Wing: Love Among the Ruins Act 14: Strangers By Sailor Celaeno  
  
[all is changed for me]  
  
"You see, Relena was under pressure to resolve Mars as quickly as possible. Her efforts were failing. Not that anyone lost confidence in her, but the fact is that she was under such intense scrutiny... I often wonder what kind of suffering that poor woman had to endure. It must have been hard without anyone to help her. I mean, she had friends, but it was impossible to be around anyone. I wish I could have been able to help her, but I was being selfish again. I can't possibly deserve any kindness," Hilde said softly.  
  
[into tears and pain]  
  
It was a solemn day when Duo's memorial service was held. Though he was a popular Preventer, only a few people could come. Mars was an on-going case, so many of his comrades weren't able to attend. Hilde stood over the monument bearing his name. She held a handkerchief tightly as she watched everyone slowly walk away. It was a beautiful service and she could imagine that Duo would have been happy to know so many people loved him. She wondered what he would have thought if he saw her with Heero here.  
Heero held her hand tightly and silently, as though his strength was transferring to Hilde. Relena was very silent watching the service and not paying much ado about the couple near her. Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei also stood in the background, watching solemnly. It was a simple, brief service. A preacher said a few words. "You know... he wanted to have a get-together with all of you. All of you were like his brothers, watching his back, and always there to be his friends. I'm glad that I had the privilege of knowing a kind, generous man like Duo Maxwell. I'm even prouder to be his friend," Relena stated simply. Soon, the ceremony ended and everyone parted.  
Relena walked over to Heero and Hilde. "I'm sorry that Duo is gone. I'm  
  
sure it hurt you very deeply."  
Heero watched her with some caution. Just what was the meaning behind those words. Was she angry? Jealous? No, it wasn't like Relena to be that way at a time like this. What was she thinking? Relena was a better person than to "add insult to injury."  
"Thank you," Hilde spoke calmly.  
"I can't stay long. You understand," Relena said quietly before leaving.  
Hilde looked up and noticed that Heero was watching Relena go into her car as Peygan closed the door behind her. "Heero?"  
"I often wonder..."  
"Wonder? About what?"  
"I wonder what she's thinking right now."  
Quatre turned to his two comrades. "You know what he'd say right now?" Quatre asked.  
"What's that?" replied Wufei.  
"Knowing him, he'd probably complain how gloomy we are and that we should lighten up," Quatre began to laugh a little.  
Trowa smirked a little. "Yes. He'd then insist we go to a bar somewhere and drink until dawn."  
"Perhaps we should take his suggestion," Wufei had a slight smile.  
"Do you think we should ask them?" Quatre interjected.  
"I suppose it's only a decent thing to do. In spite of what happened in the past," Trowa answered.  
Wufei approached Heero and Hilde. "We're going to a bar. Want to join us?"  
Heero looked at Hilde. Her eyes were distant as she stared at the grass. He then turned back to the three men. "We'll go in a little while."  
Wufei nodded and walked away with Trowa and Quatre.  
"Why don't you go with them?" Hilde mumbled.  
"There's far too many unanswered questions and I just don't like this one bit," he stated.  
"You mean about her. Must we go through this now?" she snapped. She froze as she realized what she said. "I'm... I'm..."  
"Doesn't matter. Come on. We should get going. There's not much reason to stay here. We've already said what needed to be said here," Heero said.  
Hilde nodded and followed him.  
  
[from their eyes, able to perceive]  
  
"I wonder myself. What was she thinking when she saw us holding hands and us just... just being together? Even now I can't help wonder could this all have been prevented, or was it something that would inevitably lead to this? I can't help thinking about that," Hilde sighed.  
"It's natural for you think about these things in hindsight. But you couldn't have thought that way at the time. Try to understand that when these things happen, you can't always prevent them. You can only do what you can in that one moment," replied the doctor.  
"Do you think that I'm selfish?"  
"Selfish, Hilde? Why?"  
"I'm selfish for thinking so much of myself that I forgot her feelings. Relena is the better woman. She deserves better than this. My selfishness is killing her, so I'm evil," she said angrily.  
  
[Stand still for a moment]  
  
Relena sat on a deck chair watching the nighttime sky. The stars were shining brightly with the silky, gentle moonlight in the distance. Relena thought it would be a nice way to remember Duo by watching the moon. He once told her that he liked moon gazing. "You never see the moon like this out on the colonies." Relena was amused at how romantic a guy Duo was. But something did bother Relena. She wanted to get records of Duo's death and other information about his work on Mars for her investigation of the matter. However, Une informed her that the records were to be sealed in government archives until the Mars situation was dealt with. Being a high ranking official in ESUN, Relena could easily demand copies. Something about the circumstances of his death didn't quite add up. Relena smiled at the thought. Maybe being around Heero for so long taught her how to be suspicious.  
"Oh Duo... I hope that I can find the answers. I wish you could help me out," she said softly, more to herself than to anyone in particular.  
  
[Oh memories, yes, dear and final]  
  
Hilde sat by the window of her apartment. She was watching the moon and the sparkling sky. Heero approached and handed her a glass of lemonade. "Do you suppose that Duo forgives us now?"  
Heero was a surprised at her question. "I'm not sure."  
"Well, I didn't expect you to give me an answer you know," Hilde gave him a gentle smile.  
"I know." Heero stopped for a moment and then said, "Wherever he is, he probably forgave us. Try to get some sleep Hilde. I'm going to take a quick check of the e-mail and see if we have anything before we sleep. Okay?"  
Hilde nodded. Heero walked away and gave her one last glance. Hilde just stared out the window.  
  
"There was another disturbance last night, this time centralized in the business district of New Port City. The young Martian city, as you may well know, has been the epicenter of a rash of violence among rival syndicates and the MOPS force. While there is progress by MOPS, there is no question that this 'gang war' will continue. Fifty people were injured and five left dead in an explosion that appeared to have originated in a garbage can like this one behind me. An ordinary garbage can sitting on a street corner. Word from the office of Zechs Merquise is that a curfew may need to be ordered." The anchorwoman began  
"We are all concerned for the safety of all citizens of New Port City. We are seriously considering curfew enforcement in order to limit criminal activity and ensure the safety of as many people as possible. We intend to capture all of syndicate bosses and their henchmen. We wish to assure everyone that these criminals will be stopped," Zechs spoke at a podium as cameras flashed.  
"We at United Press Alliance will continue to cover this story and inform you of further details as they come. This is Darla Mills reporting."  
  
"When was the last time you got a full night's sleep?" Sally asked as she shone a medical flashlight into her eyes.  
"I'd say weeks ago," Relena gave her a weak laugh.  
Sally arched an eyebrow. "You need to sleep."  
"I can't afford it. Time is too valuable. Besides, I try to sleep, but something is buzzing in my mind. I can't stop thinking, and the next thing I know, it's morning."  
Sally thought for a moment. "I don't normally recommend this, but here..." Sally began writing on her prescription pad. "...here is a mild sleeping medication. Just take two pills when you're ready to go to bed. It'll take a few minutes for your stomach to digest them, so it should work fairly quickly. Once you start sleeping by yourself, you can stop taking them."  
"Thanks." Relena said as Sally left her.  
"Try to sleep tonight. You can't possibly be feeling very well," Sally said before she closed the door behind her.  
  
[why do you reward me thus?]  
  
Relena held the paper in her hands. She stared at the words and began to cry. That's what it all came down to. She needed medication to ease her mind. It was sad that after everything that was happening, tiny pills would come to her aid. Maybe when she went to sleep, the sounds of people begging for her attention would finally go away. Maybe she'd finally have peace from the madness around her.  
  
AN: Sorry if this isn't a particularly enthralling installment, but that should be relieved with the next chapter. Now onward, ho!  
  
1) "Dove sono i bei momenti" from "The Marriage of Figaro" by Mozart A. Mozart  
  
2) "Quando men Vo" from "La Boheme" by Giacomo Puccini  
  
3) "Song to the Moon" from "Rusalka" by Antonin Dvorak  
  
4) "Va Pensiero" from "Nabucco" from Giuseppe Verdi  
  
5) "Vissi d'Arte" from "Tosca" by Giacomo Puccini  
  
6) "Libiamo, libiamo ne'lieti calici" from "La Traviata" by Giuseppe Verdi 


	15. Act 15

Disclaimer: I wish I owned the characters and the opera, but I don't. And I'm poor. You won't get anything from me. Pairings: If you're reading this chapter, you SHOULD know by now. Surprises: If you've read anything written by me, you should know I throw tons at you. Genres: Do I really need to remind you? Warnings: It's inspired by opera. Most of the famous operas in the world are tragedies. Get the hint? Oh and there will be some references to a "parallel opera fic" that I'm planning to write which involve 3xMU and 4xD. (Pairings that I have a fascination with. To each his/her own.) AN: To my beta Daniel, and the reviewers. Thanks for the love. The brackets indicate opera libretto.  
  
Gundam Wing: Love Among the Ruins Act 15: With Sweetness By Sailor Celaeno  
  
"Somehow I should have been a better woman. I mean... I go back and think about what I've done and then I feel terrible again. I feel terrible and awful. Yet, I see that you were right, doc. You were right. I couldn't see what was happening around me. I'm only a human being and I can't control everything around me. Still, there's a longing in my heart that hasn't gone away. Will it ever?" Hilde asked with a quiet voice. The end of her tears allowed her to have a clearer head.  
"Duo was the sort of man who went his own way," she closed her eyes. "After the peace came to the Earth and the colonies, we had found some happiness." She opened her eyes. There was something gentle and serene in her eyes. "I had forgotten that Duo was a gypsy."  
"Gypsy?" the doctor asked.  
"He told me that he was an orphan. He was used to fending for himself. I had forgotten. I should have known better than to be selfish and think of what I wanted. Those final days, I was selfish. I didn't realize what Duo needed. He needed his freedom from the past. He needed to be free from me," she finished.  
"You feel sure of this thought? Is that your conclusion, Hilde?"  
"I was being selfish. After Duo's funeral, I was shrouded in darkness. There was only gloom and guilt that settled over my heart. I was ignorant that someone was suffering too. It was... eight months ago."  
  
[I do not grow weary of the long wait]  
  
Heero was sitting in the leather chair behind her desk. "Just where are you?" It had been nearly two months since Duo's funeral. He and Hilde were together. They were still a couple, but there was something cooler between them. They were trying to move on with their lives. Hilde avoided the grief counseling. So did Heero. Hilde seriously needed it. At times, Heero was getting worried about her sanity. She didn't eat or sleep very much. Her thoughts were always elsewhere.  
"Relena..." he replied irritatingly. It wasn't like Relena to be away from her office at that time of day.  
The sounds of footsteps approached the office. The sound of her voice grew louder. He could hear the familiar warmth in her voice. Its owner soon appeared and started at the sight of him. "Heero?"  
"Relena," he replied.  
"What are you doing here?" she asked. She walked towards her chair. Heero left the seat and allowed her to sit. "I didn't expect to see you here."  
"Clearly," was his answer. "You haven't been an easy woman to contact."  
"I know. That was on purpose. I didn't want just anyone to contact me," was her reply.  
"I'd wait forever if I had to, but this is no time to wait. It was important that I contacted you," Heero said with concern.  
"Contact me? About what?"  
  
[A little to tease him]  
  
"None of the others have heard from you. That is... except Sally. It's something that concerns me," replied Heero.  
Relena had a slight smile. "Well, I don't mind having some girl talk. But it's rather hard to do that with you, Heero."  
  
[And then a little troubled, he will call]  
  
Heero wasn't amused. "Sally's a good woman, but she's also a doctor. Is there something that you're not telling me?"  
The smile slowly left her face. "I see. You're worried about me."  
"Of course I'm worried. Besides your importance to the world... you're important to my world." He said the last fragment in a softer voice.  
Relena watched him. Her face didn't change. She was serene in appearance and seemed unaffected by his words. "I understand you, Heero. There is no doubt that you are earnest about it."  
"What is wrong? You've got to be honest with me, Relena. It's not a game." Heero's voice became more urgent.  
"No, it's not. It's not a game. It's a cruel joke," Relena had a bitter tone in her voice.  
"What? What is?" He grabbed her by the shoulders.  
"You... me... us. The fact that we're speaking about this is a joke. I wish that you wouldn't do this anymore, Heero. I wish you'd just leave me alone."  
"The way you're talking now is worrying me," he returned.  
Relena gave him a hard stare. "Why? Why are you doing this, Heero? You left me to be with another woman, and then you're here trying to talk to me like there's nothing wrong, like there was never anything wrong between us. I don't care if you're guilty, or just bored with Hilde. I'm not going to let anyone toy around with my feelings. I can't afford it, especially now."  
"I'm not doing anything to you," he replied.  
Relena looked at him. "You have to realize Heero, it's over between us. I can't just go back to the way things were. Don't you get it? Have you and Hilde been together so long that you've both turned stupid?" she said, almost yelling. She leaned back in her chair and stared at her ex-lover with an angry look. "For God's sake, look around you, Heero. Let's make one thing clear. This isn't about you and me. This is about something bigger. You know what that means don't you?"  
  
[She changes the tone of her voice.]  
  
Heero could clearly see the conviction in her eyes. There was something almost desperate in her voice. She really wanted him to understand her intentions, even if it meant something terrible would happen. "I don't want to leave you alone. You shouldn't face your troubles alone."  
Relena had calmed down somewhat. There was something cold about her. Not the heartless sort of cold, but the kind of controlling certainty that he once had. "I'd wish you'd stop being a knight. I'm a princess that has learned to save herself. If you want a damsel to save, Preventer, I'd suggest you go home and take care of your girlfriend. If Duo's funeral showed anything... it made it clear that she's in great danger."  
  
[She changes her accents, and her thoughts]  
  
"You know then?"  
"It's clear that she could lose her mind if she doesn't get help. She's not strong like you. I'm no threat to her. I won't try stealing you from her. What's the use of saving something that can't be saved?" was her icy answer.  
"I perfectly understand you," was all he could say to her.  
"Good. I'm happy that we have resolved our business, Preventer," was her reply. She picked up a file on her desk. "I have important things to do now." She stood up and began to walk out of the office. Please show yourself out. I don't think I'll be seeing you again."  
  
[fade away]  
  
"I see," was the only thing Heero could say. He turned to open the door and left.  
  
"What? That's what Relena said to you?" Hilde was surprised at the change in Relena's attitude.  
Heero nodded. "I didn't understand how she could be that way. That's not like her at all. Do you suppose something has happened to her?"  
"But we'd need to find a way to get the information from her," Hilde added.  
"It's a long shot, but I think I know how." Heero had a slight smile.  
  
Quatre partially wished he wasn't going to get involved in this. Ever since that night that he, Trowa and Duo were having a bachelors' night months ago, he vowed he wouldn't interfere in someone else's romance problems while he had one of his own. However Heero and Hilde convinced him of how serious the situation was. And besides... Sally wouldn't reveal any concerns that Relena might have told her. Noin and Une were both busy with work. And Dorothy... it's best they don't deal with Dorothy at the moment. In his opinion, she was making a huge mistake marrying that man. But this wasn't the time or place. He wouldn't drag his personal issues into their dinner. That's just something for another story and another time.  
Relena soon appeared and Quatre stood up to greet her. She was more tired-looking since Duo's funeral. Maybe it was a good thing he called her. "Miss Relena," he called to her.  
"Hello, Quatre." She soon reached the table. He pulled out her chair and he took his seat.  
"It's been... well too long," she smiled.  
"Much too long. How are you?"  
"Relieved to do something that doesn't involve Mars."  
Quatre gave her a sad smile. "I'm glad I could be of service to you."  
"I think you're doing more for me than anyone has done in quite some time. I was happy to get your phone call. I... haven't seen any friendly faces since..." she stopped.  
"I know how you feel," he said a little sadly too.  
Relena knew what he meant. "I didn't realize you felt that way. Did you ever tell her?"  
"It doesn't seem to matter if I said anything. She'd probably do it regardless," was his reply.  
"Are you sure? How does she feel about you?" Relena had a worried look.  
  
[My secrets lie hidden within me]  
  
"She knows how I feel. She's a very shrewd woman. She knows how I feel. And I can feel..." he shook his head. "There's no reason to talk about that. I'd much rather talk about you," he replied.  
"It seems we're stuck," was Relena's answer.  
"Stuck?" Quatre asked.  
"Of course. We both have issues with people that we'd much rather not talk about. After all, there's no reason for me to talk about Heero and Hilde's love life, and you'd rather not talk about Dorothy." Relena stared at her friend with an amused gleam in her eyes. "In short, Quatre... we are two lonely people that are just playing parts of people who don't care."  
Quatre returned her look. "It's strange. You sound like..."  
"I now understand why it was that she acted so coldly to me... back when we first met. Being kind may be a good thing, but it hurts like hell when you get dumped aside."  
Quatre could really see the change in her. "Could Heero and Hilde have possibly done this?" He found it hard to believe that their relationship could have really affected Relena so deeply. But here he saw the proof. She was a different person. There was something that was gone in her.  
  
[I freeze, and then feel my soul burning]  
  
Dinner passed pleasantly and they talked about other things. Soon the conversation changed back to something deeper. "I still can't believe so much time has passed since the war. We've all changed and grew up. Did you ever think that your life would be like this?" Relena asked as she picked up her wine glass for another sip.  
Quatre had a tiny smile. "No. I wasn't really sure what future would happen. I just knew in my heart that it just had to be better than the way the world was at that time. I wholeheartedly believed that people wanted peace. I felt it was better if I was the one that did the fighting than..."  
"So... you willingly accepted the burden of doing terrible things because you love humanity that much. You have enough faith in it to believe that it was worth saving," Relena said.  
Quatre gave her a smile. "You can say that. I loved my family and even at the darkest hour... I just thought about those dearest to me. I remember that I suffered because I loved them too much to let them suffer."  
"I wished I was that certain..." her eyes were turned downwards.  
"Miss Relena?"  
  
[and in another moment go back to freezing]  
  
Relena looked up with a trouble smile, "It's nothing. I'm fine. I think that it's been a long day. I should probably leave soon."  
Quatre nodded. "If you ever need to talk, I'm here."  
Relena got up. "Yes. I know. I will," she offered him a smile.  
Quatre got her coat and politely helped her put it on. They said their farewells and parted. He watched as Relena leave the restaurant. "I wonder... what will they think when I tell them about tonight..." Quatre wondered to himself.  
  
[I find no peace night or day]  
  
"How did you feel when he told you and Heero?" Dr. Carlyle asked.  
"How was I supposed to feel? It just convinced me that something was wrong. It convinced Heero something was wrong. At the same time, I felt that Heero might slip away to her. Even though she said she didn't want him around... I know perfectly well there's just something about Heero that makes his persistence a force that can't be fenced off. Even now... he's watching her. That's what makes this whole thing ridiculous," Hilde growled in frustration.  
"Have you ever asked yourself, why is it that you felt so strongly about keeping Duo and Heero?"  
"You're the shrink you tell me," was her sarcastic reply.  
Carlyle sighed, "It seems to me that in the few short hours that we've been having this conversation, I've begun learn to a great deal about you. You've clung onto Duo because you wanted to feel important to him."  
Hilde stared at him with "what's your point?" look on her face.  
"When you met Duo during the war, you admired his wish to end the pointlessness of war. You wanted to do whatever you could to help him. But then you discovered something in Heero that you wanted too. You said it to yourself, that you loved him because his convictions are strong. It's obvious what is at the heart of the problem for you, Heero, Duo, and Miss Relena," he proclaimed.  
"What? Tell me, what?"  
"Simply emotional dependence. You loved Duo and Heero because you depend on them for something that you were missing. You'd do anything to hold onto that secure feeling they gave you. So even though you love Heero, you couldn't let go of Duo. Without Duo in your life, there'd be an empty spot."  
"Could it be true? Could I have based my love for them... all on selfish desires?" she said softly.  
"In order to truly love someone, you can't love them to fill emptiness your emptiness. You must love them because you are both complete people."  
"Complete people? He wasn't complete? He was feeling something was missing and I didn't fill it?" Hilde paused for a moment before she added, "I suppose the real questions are did I ever really love Duo or Heero? And did they ever really love me?" Hilde wondered, "Would that explain why Relena did what she did...?"  
  
AN: I'd like to thank the following composers for creating such wonderful music to inspire me.  
  
1) "Un Bel di Vedremo" from "Madama Butterfly" by Giacomo Puccini  
  
2) "O Mio Babbino Caro" from "Gianni Schicchi" by Giacomo Puccini  
  
3) "La Donna e Mobile" from "Rigoletto" by Giuseppe Verdi  
  
4) "Nessun Dorma" from "Turandot" by Giacomo Puccini  
  
5) "Voi Che Sapate" from "The Marriage of Figaro" by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart  
  
6) "Largo al Factotum" from "The Barber of Seville" by Giaochino Rossini 


	16. Act 16

Disclaimer: I wish I owned the characters and the opera, but I don't. And I'm poor. You won't get anything from me.

Pairings: If you're reading this chapter, you SHOULD know by know.

Surprises: If you've read anything written by me, you should know I throw tons at you.

Genres: Do I really need to remind you?

Warnings: It's inspired by opera. Most of the famous operas in the world are tragedies. Get the hint?

AN: To my beta Daniel, and the reviewers. Thanks for the love. The brackets indicate opera libretto.

Gundam Wing: Love Among the Ruins

Act 16: The New Life

By Sailor Celaeno

"Yes… you never mentioned how the Vice Foreign Minister's coma was your fault," the

doctor nodded.

Hilde sighed. "Yes, we do need to talk about that before I have to go." Hilde stretched her

arms and shifted her position in the chair. "Relena was forced to deal with work because there

was still so much to do. Mars wasn't improving and Relena was under great pressure to fix the

situation."

Relena plopped down on her bed. She had been questioned by hundreds of reporters and

had several conferences to attend that day. She could barely remember what color her clothes

were or what she ate for dinner just an hour ago. "God… this is just going to kill me…" she

murmured to herself. She coughed hard and gasped before getting off her bed. What was making

things worse was she was coming down with the flu. She walked into the bathroom and opened

the medicine cabinet. Her eyes were droopy and she felt just plain awful.

After a couple minutes of staring she finally found the flu medicine. She swallowed the

medicine and finally got into bed. She felt happy being under her comfy blankets. She wrapped

herself tightly under the covers. She felt really cold from the flu. She shuddered as she tried to get

herself warmer.

Peygan opened and peered inside when no one replied to his knock. He had a feeling that

Miss Relena wasn't well since she appeared more tired than normal. She quietly walked to her

bedside and touched her forehead. The heat of her skin told him everything he needed to know.

He would call the doctor if she didn't feel better in the morning.

the one I liked the best

Sally gently touched Relena's forehead. She wasn't happy. "Did she take any medication?"

"I believe so. She asked me last night if all the flu and cold medication were in her

medicine cabinet. I told her that I replaced the expired medication just yesterday. I had hoped the

medication would have worked and she would be better this morning. Unfortunately, when I came

in, I felt her forehead was still rather warm. That's why I thought to call you," answered Peygan.

Sally nodded. "I'm glad you did. She might need stronger medication, especially since

she's already taking sleeping pills. It wouldn't be good if they counteract each other."

"Doctor Po… I was wondering… how long must she continued taking those pills."

Sally sighed. "I made the prescription a month's worth, assuming she used one every

night. And she needs to come to me for a refill. I intended for the pills to be a last resort. It seems

to be the only thing that is able to help her. That is considering… the things she's had to endure in

the last year."

Peygan nodded silently.

"I know that you will do all that you can to help her," Sally spoke again.

"Of course, doctor. I… have always done what I could for the Peacecraft and Darlian

families. I have respect for Miss Relena. She's… almost a daughter to me," he replied.

"She's in the best possible hands," Sally said. She left Relena's home.

Peygan closed the door and immediately dialed a number on the vidphone.

A voice replied, "MOPS headquarters, may I help you?"

"I wish to speak to either Commander Merquise or Sub-Commander Noin. I am Peygan.

They will know me," he answered.

"One moment please."

"Relena was ill. But of course we didn't know too much about it at the time. But we did

learn a great deal of other things in regards to her," began Hilde.

Heero approached Relena's office when he saw a strange woman there. She had long,

black hair and looked at files on Relena's desk. "Who are you?" he asked loudly.

The woman was startled and looked at Heero. There was a bemused expression on her face.

"Good day, Preventer Yuy," she replied. "I'm your replacement."

"I see," was all he said.

"I'm Dylan Schneider, lieutenant commander of the Preventers. But of course... you know

my name already," was her reply.

Heero did know that name. Schneider was formerly of OZ and she was a highly decorated

officer during the war. "I see that Une assigned the best for Vice Foreign Minister Darlian."

"I don't see the necessity of being so formal about your ex-girlfriend," was her deadpan

reply.

Heero gave her a wary look.

"I'm lieutenant commander. You aren't the only one who has ways of getting information.

I suppose you'd rather I not talk about your relationship with her. I'll say this as a concerned

person. Please don't try to talk to her anymore. This isn't the time for suspicious exes to come in

and screw things up for her. What she needs is the space to do what she has to do. She doesn't

need your shadow over her," was the woman's answer.

into a grimace

"Are you going stop me, Lieutenant Commander?"

"I don't need to. You'll come to realize that you're wasting time on someone that doesn't

want you around," was her retort.

"I see." He had a sharp glare that he couldn't hide. Schneider outranked him, but he didn't

give a damn. Anyone standing in his way would be crushed.

your love is broken

Heero didn't deny that somehow he was a fool. "Relena…" he said to the sleeping figure.

He finally entered her room and sat by her bed. "I was the one who found you asleep in your

room. I didn't know if I could make you understand me then. Now that I'm here, I see I was the

one who didn't understand."

Relena was still sound asleep. The machines beeped and hummed as they monitored her.

They were what kept her in the world. It was the only thing that looked in the same place as

Heero.

"Is this what you meant when you wanted your freedom? Was it me that you wanted to

escape from?" Heero asked her.

The machines hummed and she said nothing.

"You freed me from a dark, lonely place. There was a real reason to live when you came

into my life. Why couldn't I do the same for you?"

You think to avoid it; it holds you

"I wish that you can hear me. I only hope you can because I hope that you can forgive me,

Relena. I hope that you can truly forgive me. Not for the sake of appearances, but forgiveness

that only you could give." He found that her still figure was as dear to him as that night in Paris.

He suddenly found himself leaning down and kissing her.

Goodbye

He could hear the sound of Zechs's voice. He was speaking to a doctor. Heero stood up

and went to the door.

Zechs noticed the former Gundam pilot and thanked the doctor before walking to Heero.

"Hello, Yuy."

Heero knew that something in Zechs blamed him for Relena's condition. He didn't blame

Zechs if that was how he felt. "I came by to say hello to her."

"I see," was the older man's response. He didn't appear angry or bitter. He was rather

calm which he knew how to be. His sister was important to him. It hadn't been easy trying to

recreate a better relationship between Zechs and Relena. Now that they were developing one,

Zechs wanted to hang on to his sister. "Where's Schbeicker?"

"She has an appointment this afternoon. She'll be coming by later."

"You know… I don't think that you and Hilde should be here."

"So says the big brother," was Heero's reply.

"That's right, Yuy. I'm her brother. She can't speak for herself, so I have to. Let's make it

clear that you and Hilde shouldn't be here. It's in bad taste asking for her forgiveness while she's

like this. It's not like she'd be able to forgive you as she is," was Zechs's cold response.

"I didn't want to hurt her. I loved her, and I…"

"I suppose you're going to say you still love her. Save it. I'm not interested in your

precious declarations of guilt and love. You're being a selfish bastard and I'd think that Relena

should be free of it," Zechs replied with angry undertones.

Heero was silently watching the elder man.

"Your interference in her life is trapping her here. She'd be happier if you'd only free her,"

Zechs continued in a calmer manner.

"Free her?"

"She's reminded of what you did to her every time you beg for her forgiveness or talk

about your love for her. If there's any bit of that love that is unselfish… just leave her alone," was

Zechs' reply.

Heero wasn't sure what to say at that point.

Back to my lonely little room

Relena eventually woke up and was surprised to see Zechs there at her beside. "Hello,

Relena."

"Brother… what are you doing here?" she asked. She was still very groggy from her flu.

"I didn't expect you to be here."

"I didn't think I'd have to come see you like this. But I suppose I should see you at some

point, as your brother." He reached over and hugged her. "I should apologize for not being more

help to you, Relena. I sincerely wished to be more supportive for you. But it seems that my

intentions don't come to fruition… yet again."

Relena leaned her forehead against the side of his neck. "It's all right, Milliardo. I'm happy

to see anyway I can."

"I'll do whatever you want. You've been pretty selfless with what you've done. Now

you're sick because of…"

Relena shook her head. "No…"

"No?" he pulled away from her and stared at her with curiosity.

"I don't hold anything against them. I understand that I can't tell them what to do. I

certainly don't want to either. If I can forgive Heero, please don't be angry at him," she said.

"I won't be," Zechs replied.

Peygan entered the room. "I apologize Miss Relena, but it's time to take your medicine."

"Thank you, Peygan." She turned back to her brother. "How long can you stay?"

"I have to leave tomorrow. I have a lot of meetings that to attend. I wish there was more I

could do for you," was his reply.

"You're doing fine," was her reassurance.

Zechs hoped it was true.

"Maybe I am selfish. I wanted to save her from something dark within her. Maybe it was

my fault that the darkness overcame her. I can't deny that perhaps, Relena had the dark feelings

long before I had betrayed her," Heero spoke after the silence.

"You may be right, Yuy. But it doesn't change the fact that you hurt her. You certainly

didn't help the situation. Whatever was lurking in her heart was agitated by you," was Zechs's

reply.

Heero closed his eyes in thought. "No, I won't deny that. That's why I want to help her.

Even if she forgives me, it doesn't relieve the burden of her heart. I'll stand by her as long as I

can."

He who, so modest and attentive during my illness, waited

"Is that how you truly feel, Yuy?" Zechs asked.

"Yes." Heero turned and walked away from Zechs. He decided to take a short walk. Hilde

would come in about an hour so it would be good to clear his thoughts. Who knows how she

would be after her therapy session.

Zechs watched Heero turned into another hallway. He spoke softly to himself, "So Relena,

do you think he can help you?" He turned to the observation window for Relena's room. There

was only the constant beeping of the machines.

To be continued…

AN: On to the credits!

1) "Der Vogelfänger bin ich ja" from "The Magic Flute" by Wolfgang A. Mozart

2) "Vesti La Giubba" from "I Pagliacci" by Ruggero Leoncavallo

3) "Habanera" from "Carmen" by Georges Bizet

4) "Addio! Che! Vai?" from "La Boheme" by Giacomo Puccini

5) "Ah, fors'e lui" from "La Traviata" by Giuseppe Verdi


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: Ah, if life would only be more fair.  
Pairings: If you don't know by now.  
Surprises: Plenty.  
Genres: Do I really need to remind you?  
Warnings: It's inspired by opera. Most of the famous operas in the world are tragedies. Get the hint?  
AN: To my supporters. Thanks for the love. The brackets indicate opera libretto. 

Gundam Wing: Love Among the Ruins Act 17: Both Sides Now By Sailor Celaeno

"Hilde, you've come quite far. You've finally talked about your unresolved feelings with Duo," observed Dr. Carlyle. "Now we must help you with your relationship with Relena. We must confront those feelings you had." He sighed. "If only I could make Preventer Yuy talk about that"  
Hilde gently touched Dr. Carlyle's hand. "Heero was never the sort of man to ever talk about those things. Even if he had tried to talk to you, I don't think even he could truly understand what he was feeling any more than I could understand my own feelings. I can't speak for him, but I can say that he's still trying to make sense of everything"  
"Yes, I suppose you're right. Now, please continue your story," Dr. Carlyle said.  
"Yes. It had been about a month after Lieutenant Commander Schneider had been assigned to Relena. There were investigations done on Duo's death. Duo is, after all, a war hero and ranking Preventer working on the Mars problem. Relena was overseeing the investigation personally. It went beyond an internal Preventer issue. It was becoming a major concern for ESUN."

"I believe that we are all in agreement that Mars has gotten out of control. As we all know, MOPS has been involved in several firefights with various syndicates intent on gaining control over business in the developing Mars colony. I needn't emphasize the imperative that we stop them. We must expand our efforts to prevent these illegal organizations from gaining control over the local economies of Mars. Undoubtedly, they've gathered intelligence that rivals that of ESUN," Commander Une began her presentation to the Foreign Ministry conference.  
The Foreign Minister nodded his head. "Yes. The president as well as the ESUN has demanded more action on the part of Preventers and MOPS. Has there been any progress with your investigation"  
"We theorize that there may have been a leak of MOPS activities that resulted in Duo Maxwell's death," replied Relena.  
The Minister paused in thought, and he then turned to Une. "Has there been any efforts to find the source of information leakage"  
"We are still investigating. We have leads and are actively pursuing them"  
"Very well. I will make my own reports to the President. I trust that my Vice Minister will be able to assist your investigations, Commander Une," replied the Minister.  
Une bowed slightly. "Of course sir"  
"Very well." He gathered his materials and left the room. Several of the other attendees also followed him. It was only Relena and Une left in the room.

I'm anxious to know

"Are you really certain about these leads?" Relena asked Une.  
"Quite certain, Minister Dorlian. I assure you that the source of the leads is more than reliable. You can be confident of him," replied Une.  
"This is a rather dangerous mission. Can this plan of yours be safe? I'd much rather not bury someone else. Duo was a good man and I will really miss him," Relena looked at her hands sadly.  
Une walked over and touched the young diplomat's hands. "I know how you feel. Duo knew what he was getting himself into when he joined the raid. Please believe that what you're doing is the right thing."

The plan seems to me a little rash

"I can't help feeling unsure. After all, many people will have their lives at risk doing this. I just don't know about how I can watch someone do this," Relena stood up. She leaned on the desk. Her arms supported her weight. "But I'm no military expert. I will trust you and recommend your infiltration plan. Just promise me something"  
"Yes?" replied Une.  
"Find out who is responsible for this mess"  
"Of course."

"Commander Merquise"  
"Commander Une," Zechs answered.  
"Have you been here long?" she asked.  
"I only arrived ten minutes ago. Will you be staying long?" he asked.  
"I thought I'd pay my respects to Miss Relena. Mariemaia sends her regards. She has a test tomorrow morning. I assured her that Miss Relena and you would understand," she replied.  
"You've done wonders with that girl. She's truly your daughter now," he noted.  
"Yes." Une cleared her throat. "Have you decided"  
"I tried putting off the decision for as long as possible. It does pain me to do this. I hate having to choose for her," Zechs answered.  
"You know what you must do," replied Une.  
Zechs watched her warily.

"Heero?" Hilde approached Heero's office.  
"Yes?" He looked up from the files he was reading.  
"Is it true that you're working on the MOPS leakage?" she asked him eagerly.  
"It's rather odd that Une would let me work on that," he answered.  
"Odd? How is that odd?" Hilde wondered. She was very glad that Heero was investigating because she was sure that he'd tell her anything that he might find. She wanted to know who the bastard was that got Duo killed.  
"Une knows the bad blood between us. She normally wants no business or personal conflicts to create distractions. It has me wondering if this was Relena's idea," Heero contemplated as he turned his swivel chair towards his girlfriend.  
"Relena? Why would Relena want you to do this?" Hilde was really perplexed at the idea that Relena would purposely want Heero to be responsible.  
"It's clearly for one of two reasons. She's giving you and me the chance to resolve our feelings about Duo. But the more probable reason is that she's trying to get rid of me," Heero concluded.  
"Get rid of you?" Hilde asked.  
"She wants distance from me. She has a new bodyguard and she's avoided talking to me.  
I'm only getting memos, voice messages, and her assistants talking to me. Perhaps it is best that I leave her alone. It's hardly productive for me to bother her. There's no reason to ignore the obvious. I suppose this is the best I can do for her and for you," he explained.  
Hilde nodded. "You just might be right. If only there was a better way for this to end"  
"Cheer up, Hilde. We might find the answers we've been looking for. Duo wouldn't have been stupid enough to get himself killed like that. He's not the sort of guy that would ignore what's important for his own personal feelings," Heero added.  
"That was…" she paused. "That was what I loved about him. That's why I love you too"  
she replied sadly.  
Heero stood up to hug her. "I know. I know."

with you I can spend the time with delight

Dr. Carlyle nodded. "I see. So Heero was sent to investigate and infiltrate the spy among the ranks"  
"Naturally I was worried. He'd be doing something dangerous. But then… I reminded myself that this is Heero Yuy. He's been able to do so many impossible things. Of course it still bothers me that somehow Relena must have arranged Une to send Heero. It makes we wonder still if there was some sort of conspiracy," Hilde mused.

we will see arising a strand of smoke

"Conspiracy? What sort of conspiracy?" Carlyle was intrigued at this thought.  
"Well in my short experience it wouldn't be so far-fetched that somehow they were manipulating things in the background. Of course at the time this thought never really occurred to me. But I guess it really could be in my imagination. I've become such a bundle of nerves since Relena went into a coma. And even now Heero can't let go of her anymore than I could give up those old feelings of Duo. I really couldn't until Duo was dead," she spoke sadly.  
"So then death would resolve his ties with her?" he asked. He wanted her to explain her thoughts.

do you see it?

"Not even death will really end these twisted feelings. Even when we're all dead, they won't really die. They'll linger endlessly because we're not complete. We can't be free because we're not strong enough to live without our messed up feelings for each other. I often suspect that Duo knew this and he left to Mars. He must have known that I am as weak as I am." She ended her soliloquy by holding her head in her hands.  
"Is that really your belief?"

yet nobody feels fully happy

"Yes. He knew my love for him was childish. Heero's love for me and Relena is childish too. War turned children into adults. Now they must learn how to love as adults and not like the clinging grasps of a child." She turned her eyes to the doctor's. "Do you see that too"  
Dr. Carlyle remained silent. He didn't see a child. He saw a woman.

To be continued…

1) "Dove sono i bei momenti" from "The Marriage of Figaro" by Mozart A. Mozart

2) "Libiamo, libiamo ne'lieti calici" from "La Traviata" by Giuseppe Verdi

3) "Un Bel di Vedremo" from "Madama Butterfly" by Giacomo Puccini

4) "La Donna e Mobile" from "Rigoletto" by Giuseppe Verdi


End file.
